famous like Meadowlark Lemon

i'm a tough mother fucker with a banana split

Tue, 06 May 2008 00:45:11 GMT

Dripping, Sopping: A Saturation Celebration unofficially formed in 1976 on Michael McDonald's penis shortly after he contracted chlamydia in Europe during a Doobie Brothers world tour. It would prove to be the beginning of a long and profitable collaboration, for McDonald anyway. He took sole composition credit for hits like "Takin' It To The Streets", as the era when cock-growths would dominate the American pop charts was still several years away.

It would be nearly ten years before they would be given their name. During the recording sessions for "Yah Mo B There", James Ingram went into the studio restroom where McDonald was relieving himself. Ingram was reported to have pointed at McDonald's growth and stammered, "Dripping... sopping...". McDonald, by then insane (have you heard Yah Mo B There?), turned to face Ingram shaking his diseased man-sausage at Ingram and shouted "A Saturation Celebration!" After attempts to revive Ingram were exhausted, the newly christened artist completed Ingram's unfinished vocals and re-recorded several of the instrument tracks.

Emboldened by the bewildering success of "Yah Mo B There" and the commercial viability of the burgeoning "Cock-growth Invasion" (UB40, Information Society, Phil Collins), Dripping, Sopping: A Saturation Celebration began writing and recording songs on a 4- track during McDonald's frequent mescaline blackouts. Influenced equally by the mid-80s glam metal and post-punk scenes of the day, DS:ASC recorded deeply personal songs. Songs like "Ballad", "Re: Steve Albini", and "Fuck That, Son" when studied through a lens colored by the origins and history of the artist, become confessions of bitterness, envy, and contempt. "Rock Factory" paints a brutal picture of the music industry at the turn of the 80s by an artist on the fringes of the limelight, churning out mindless hits like a slave for a psychotic master. "Do Your Parents Know?!!!?" and "Tit Spit!", the twin exclamation points of these recordings, are brash and shocking, yet offers poignant insight into life on the schlong of one of America's most beloved recording artists. Legend has it that DS:ASC recorded an album's worth of material but it's unknown what became of those tracks. At least one was rumored to have been titled "Pussy Warship", and a handful of people still living claim to have heard it and said it was decades ahead of its time. But it and the rest of them apparently disappeared into further obscurity along with their creator.

These surviving demo tracks circulated among enthusiasts/collectors on cassette tapes and as mp3 files for over two decades as an EP called Shit's In The Mail. In 2007, these songs were given a digital restoration/remastering by The Loss Foundation and packaged with a re-mix track introduced by long-time DS:ASC fan, Fake British Guy. In addition to making this ground-breaking work available to a whole new generation of fans, there were hopes that, if still alive, DS:ASC might resurface and accept the recognition they so justly deserved after all these years. As of this writing, a year after its release, DS:ASC remains as much a mystery as ever.

i've got crazy game so no one can stop me

Sat, 03 May 2008 08:59:57 GMT

ast night I was messing around on last.fm and was amazed by the number of full tracks they had available for streaming. In particular, there were some really obscure things that I wasn't expecting to find. This led me to discovering their "Playlist" feature, so I spent my evening making one. A big one. It currently contains slightly over 100 complete songs. Coupled with their embeddable widget (which is limited to shuffle mode only) it makes for a nice way to share music. Not everything in the playlist is obscure, but it's not your typical radio fare either. It's heavy on the rawk, but there's plenty of other genres strewn throughout to keep things interesting. All you gotta do is click on the play button and it'll start streaming Soopapproved music for you. Alternately, if you're a last.fm user, you can access it via my profile and launch it in the scrobbling software. Enjoy.

i'm going up going over to Montana

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:12:33 GMT

n Friday evening I finally went back on the road, picking up a load in Logansport, IN bound for Tacoma, WA. It's nearly identical to the trip I went on back in January when I crashed, in fact I drove by my accident site yesterday afternoon.

I am enjoying the new company I work for. They're very laid back folks and yet, so far, have been fantastic with logistics. They're keeping me busy with all the work I could want, but with sensible parameters that don't require me to work myself to death trying to meet the demands of the load. After I deliver in Tacoma today, I back-haul with a load that's waiting for me in Wallula, WA this evening, due in Dakota City, NE by Friday morning. I'll take Friday off and part of Saturday to reset my 70 hour than try and knock out another 70 before I take a couple of days off next weekend with Welf in PA.

You know the type of people that, no matter what your problem is, they always have some bigger sob story than you? Like if you told them you were just diagnosed with cancer, they'd tell you about how they got cancer AND had to have a limb amputated in the same day? Ordinarily, those folks annoy the ever-living bejeezus out of me, but there is one instance in which I am that person. You can not complain to me about how expensive gas prices are and how it costs $80 to fill-up your SUV, because fucker, I will always win the bitch-fest in that department.

authority always wins

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:59:07 GMT

whole lotta rosie

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:16:59 GMT

uess what's sitting in my driveway?

Steel tire chains!

Actually, they're in the garage now. One set of dual-chains for the the drive tires and two sets of single chains to be placed where ever they're needed or required. They were left on my new truck by the previous driver. I'm guessing they were too troublesome for him to take when he moved out. I also inherited two load bars. I also have 4 sets of cable-style chains that I never returned to Werner, in addition to buckets full of straps. I assume they're mine to keep since they kept my bond. Heh.

Yeah yeah, I know. These are the pictures you were hoping to see.

She's definitely prettier than Sally was and if the bobtail trip home from Omaha was any indication, she rides a lot nicer, too. She also has a lot more bells and whistles than Sally (air bag dump! power windows! power mirrors! steering wheel telescope/tilt!) which will make every day life on the road a little better.

I've named her Rosie, because, you could say she's got it all.

Specs:
2004 Peterbilt 387
Cummins motor
Eaton Fuller 8-speed transmission

McMullen put new rubber all the way around, replaced the air conditioning condenser and radiator, put a new hub cover on one of the rear axles, replaced/relined brakes, replaced all four batteries and replaced the heating/air controls. In all, a good 6-7k in repairs before giving her to me. Hopefully I can get a good 50,000 - 100,000 miles out of her before I encounter any breakdowns/repairs of consequence.

a guy's guide to cooking - tools of the trade

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:12:31 GMT

A Guy's Guide To Cooking
Part One - Tools Of The Trade

ne of the great myths about good cooking is that you need a lot of special, high-end utensils and cookware to do it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the things you need you probably already have and if you don't, you can acquire them new or used for very little money. Kitchen gadgetry is a lot like exercise equipment, the people selling it make you feel like you can't live without it. Cooking shows like to make you feel like your kitchen is inadequate if you don't have this or that, but that's because the makers of these things are usually behind the advertising revenue for the program. Sure, it'd be nice if we could all have a commercial grade kitchen but just because you don't have one doesn't mean you can't make good food in what you have.

What follows are the basics you need to cook meals on a daily basis. I'll mention some other things along the way that you might want to consider, but they're by no means essential. Let's start with pots, pans, and dishes. You don't need a lot of them, nor do they have to be particularly fancy, but you do need a basic assortment. First we'll considering frying pans.

You'll probably not need more than two and you can probably get by with one. Personally though, I recommend three: a small shallow one for light-duty, a medium one of reasonable depth for every day use and a large, deep one for bigger projects. As you can see in the photo above I have a few more than my personal recommendation, but that's because I fry a LOT. I have my stainless steel, deep/large pan the farthest back. In the foreground are my light-duty frying pans and right behind them is my non-stick, medium sized "every day" frying pan. Finally, you'll notice I have a cast iron skillet. I was raised in the South and not cooking in one is unthinkable to me. Meat just tastes better cooked in a cast iron skillet, whether it's browning ground beef or making fried chicken. You can get a new one for under $50 but the best ones are those that have already had decades of seasoning, which is why you see them going for $75-$100 in antique stores. I got lucky; my mother in-law had a couple of them sitting around from a defunct antique market owned by Welf's late father.

Next, let's look at sauce pans and pots.

You're going to need at least one large pot for boiling pasta or potatoes and making large-batch liquid foods like chili or soups. Beyond that depends on your personal cooking habits and you can add them as necessary. In the photo, you can see the three red sauce pans stacked together. Two years ago I got those at Big Lots as a set for $10. I'll probably still get another couple of years out of them before the handles fall off. If you're just beginning too cook, you'll probably need nothing more than that. Worry about adding nicer and more durable sauce pans later. I have a couple of other non-stick pans to round out my assortment but still use the cheap red ones every day. While we're on the subject, a word about non-stick pots and pans. Never ever ever use metal utensils when cooking in them, always use plastic, wood, or rubber ones so that you don't scratch the teflon coating.

Next up, bowls and dishes.

First of all, get a colander if you don't already have one. That would be the large bowl on the left with the holes in it. And get a big one, you'll thank me later. You can get by with other methods of straining water off food but it won't be as effective and this is a ton easier. You're going to need at least a couple of mixing bowls, one of them of reasonable size and depth. Beyond that depends on how much and what type of mixing you do. Copper or stainless steel is going to be more durable, especially if you're using an electric hand-mixer, than glass/ceramic. Avoid plastic mixing bowls if possible. I don't have it in the essential tools of the trade because you can do the job with a wire whisk, but for the extra $10, dude, get an electric mixer. You'll want at least one glass baking dish (9x12 is "standard") and a basic 6-cup muffin pan. Finally, you'll want a cookie sheet of some sort. As you cook more and more, you'll eventually complement these with a variety of metal and glass dishes of other sizes, but these three basic dishes will get you started.

Finally, there are the various utensils. First of all, you need a cutting board and knives

As you can see, I use a cheap plastic cutting board I probably got for a few bucks at a megastore. I've had my eye on a sexy bamboo cutting board but haven't been able to convince myself I need it bad enough yet, especially since I'm like, you know, unemployed. The knives I got at a yard sale last year. For $20, I got the butcher-block knife holder that had about half the knives missing, a manual juice press, and an office chair. Yard sales, thrift stores, and antique shops are great source for finding basic cookware and utensils. If you're needing some of these things and on a budget, I highly recommend you start there.

I decided not to take the time to sort through every single utensil in my drawer for a photo, but instead took a photo of the whole drawer and then talk about the basic things you need.

Turners/Spatulas: You need at least one turner and if you have any non-stick frying pans, at least one should be non-metal. You should have at least one rubber spatula. In addition to its formal job description as an icing spreader, it's invaluable for getting ALL of the food from a bowl or pan when transferring it.

Spoons: You can get cheap plastic cooking spoons of varying lengths at the mega/dept store of your choice. They're great for general purpose stirring and tasting. You should have at least one large slotted spoon for draining off excess liquids in some foods when dishing them out of pans. Finally, you need at least one ladle for dishing soups/sauces.

Measuring: You need one set of measuring cups and measuring spoons. Small measuring cup sets are for dry ingredients while spoons are for both dry and liquid. Additionally, you need one of the clear graduated measuring cups for liquids. The type of cooking I'll be introducing you to won't require these, but as you grow more confident in your ability to cook you'll begin trying bona fide recipes to expand your repertoire.

Whisks: You should have at least one for manual, quick blending/beating where an electric mixer would be considered overkill.

Openers: You need a can opener for sure. Electric ones are nice but not really necessary. Bottle openers and cork screws depend largely on your eating habits but it's probably a good idea to have them on hand. A jar "gripper" is a good thing to have handy as well.

Miscellaneous: Have a small basting brush in your utensil drawer. A durable pair of scissors/shears is not really essential, just a good idea; you're less likely to cut yourself opening a troublesome bag with it than with a steak knife. Also not essential, but I highly recommend getting a garlic press. A small strainer is a great thing to have around, as is some sort of grater.

....and that's really all you need. Even if you had none of these things, you could probably put it all together for under $100. My guess is, you probably have most if not all of these items already in your kitchen. In the next installment, we'll look at the basic ingredients you will need to prepare and season food when cooking.

listen to the engine moaning

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:19:16 GMT

inally, I have a green light to go get the truck. It's been in McMullen's shop for the past week waiting to have a radiator core repaired/replaced. It should be done today or at the very latest, tomorrow morning. At ass o'clock in the morning I will be on a plane for Omaha, take care of a few details there and begin driving it back to Kentucky. Yes, by tomorrow night I'll be on a long and lonesome highway east of Omaha. I should be back no later than early afternoon on Thursday.

I called OOIDA this morning and had the insurance activated. It will take affect at 12:01 tonight. They also will electronically file the proof of insurance with FMCSA, so I should have my operating authority in 10-14 business days. In the meantime, I have a few licensing and permits loose ends to resolve once I get the truck back here (IFTA, KYU, base plates), but I should be ready to roll by the time I'm granted authority.

I have a three hour layover in Cleveland tomorrow morning. Sounds like a perfect time to polish up and post the first installment of A Guy's Guide To Cooking.

serving MCs on a platter like a baked alaskan

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:09:26 GMT

he Baked Alaska experiment was a success. It wasn't perfect, but hey, it was my first time.

It's actually rather simple. Here's what I did. First I made the cake. I just used a box cake recipe, in this case it was a red velvet cake. I also got a quart of ice cream. I chose Black Raspberry Chocolate Chunk.

I baked the cake in a bread pan. After it had cooled, I removed it from the pan and cut the rounded part off the top so I had a flat surface on both sides. After cleaning the bread pan, I lined it with plastic wrap and packed the ice cream into it. I put my cake on top of the ice cream, covered the whole thing and put it in the freezer for about 6-8 hours.

When I was ready to make it, I set the oven to pre-heat to 500 degrees. I made some meringue (I used 5 eggs) while the oven was heating. I took the ice cream/cake combo from the freezer and inverted it onto a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil (cake-side down, ice cream up). I peeled the plastic wrap from the ice cream and coated the entire thing in meringue.

Then I stuck it in the oven for 3 minutes.

Mmmmmmm MM.

i'll steal your pop tarts like i stole your socks

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 23:09:25 GMT

his week, I worked outdoors a lot, trying to finish some projects I want to get done before going back on the road. I spent a good deal of my week digging up the flower beds and sowing perennials and transplanting some annuals.

I've also been baking! I took a comment from lossfound in my last entry to heart and I'm going to attempt making a Baked Alaska. I had some left-over cake batter that I didn't want to throw away so I made cupcakes. I didn't have any icing though, so I learned how to make home made cake frosting for them. They were yummy.

One thing is clear, I need to get back on the road pronto before my period starts.

a guy's guide to cooking

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:41:34 GMT

eople come up to me all the time and say, "Soopa, how did you land such a fine, fine woman as welfy. I mean, c'mon. You're kinda pudgy around the middle, balding, bad teeth, and damaged goods with a history and three kids to boot? What's your secret?"

My internet brothers and sisters, there is no secret. It was pure luck. I was at the right place at the right time. The more important question to ask is: how did I keep her? I'm certainly not a wealthy man. While I might be decent to roll around in the sack with, that's not a pre-requisite for sticking a ring on girl's finger these days. No friends and neighbors, it's rather simple really. I can cook.

It's true that I have over a decade and a half working in restaurants that gave me some added experience in the culinary arts beyond what momma taught me. But I learned a lot on my own, too; through trial and error and experimentation. You might be a nice guy, or have money, or be hung like donkey, but if you're a single guy and you want to seal the deal with the guy or gal you're wooing, you need to learn to cook. It's also a GREAT date suggestion, to offer to cook a meal for someone at your place.

The great thing is, it's not hard! Recipes look all complicated and intimidating but it doesn't have to be. Sure, there are lots of easy and decent tasting box and frozen dinners on the market, but if you think you're going to impress anybody with that weak shit, get used to spending your weekends with your cats, your favorite porn site and a tube of AstroGlide.

So I thought I'd break it down for you. I'll simplify and de-mystify good cooking in a series of entries that'll give you the basic tools, ingredients, and knowledge to cook great meals without getting bogged down in measuring cups and fancy hardware. Naturally, this information might be of use to some of you ladies who need a primer in cooking as well, but I'm going to aim this largely at the fellas. We'll call this simply:

A Guy's Guide To Cooking

Part 1 of this series will deal with basic tools of the trade. Part 2 will be about the basic ingredients you will need to work your magic in the kitchen. In Part 3, I'll cover basic cooking techniques with a kitchen range. In Part 4 and beyond, I'll give some simple and tasty jumping-off points for creating a basic meal which you can imitate or improvise. Everyone in your hometown will be locking up their sons and daughters because, before you know it, you'll be cooking your way into somebody's pants.

only you can set you free

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:14:40 GMT

fter nearly three months of not doing anything, everything is finally beginning to come together - quickly. Yesterday I finally got my motor carrier number and D.O.T. number for the truck I'll be leasing. I'm shopping quotes on insurance, but will make my decision by Monday and have a policy activated. I may even do it tomorrow. Once this is done, it will be filed with the FMCSA and my authority will be granted in 10-14 business days.

On Tuesday, I'll be heading for Omaha to pick-up the tractor so that I can drive it back to Kentucky for an inspection and get my base plates. I'll also take care of IFTA, KYU and other loose ends while waiting on my authority. By the time I have it, I should be ready to roll. At the very latest, I should be back on the road sometime the week of April 13-19.

For those of you interested in the specifics, I'll be getting a 2004 Peterbilt 387 that will look nearly, if not exactly like, this:

I thought about going into more detail about the journey to getting my own authority, but since it hasn't ACTUALLY come-to-pass yet and there may be more bumps in the road to circumvent, maybe I'll save it for a later entry once I'm successfully in business. I'm sure there are at least a few of you that would be interested to know just what it is you have to go through.

the rhythm the rebel

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 17:29:02 GMT

few weeks back I posted an entry about my new lappy, with the promise of posting about the other new gear that I acquired as a result of my insurance claim. If there's silver lining in all of this, it's new toys to play with, if nothing else.

My phone, while not completely destroyed, was badly damaged in the accident, so I had it replaced with a fancy new slim one with a lot of bells and whistles my old one didn't have, most notably: stereo Bluetooth and an mp3 player.

It has other fancy things like a camera and video recorder, but as you might expect, they're pretty much worthless. Coupled with a 4GB microSD card though, it makes a decent little music player. It even has a built-in FM transmitter so I can beam it right into a radio. Now if they will start making cell phones with fax capabilities (send a jpg/receive a jpg) I'll be a happy camper. Why don't cell phones have this yet?

In the wreck, my trusty Sony headphones were destroyed. I could have replaced it with another nice set of 'phones but opted instead for a cheap Sennheiser headset...

...and these BlueAnt headpones, that'll work with the Bluetooth in both my laptop and my phone.

The sound quality in the Sennheisers are so-so, but I wasn't expecting much out of a $17 pair of headphones. The BlueAnt's sound isn't awesome or anything, but they have good general clarity and a decent bass response. I've been using them a lot in conjunction with my phone to listen to music while painting at the candy factory. You can't see it in the photo, but it also comes with a removable mini-boom mic for telephone application. I'm not a huge fan of the "urban-style" design and they can get uncomfortale after extended use, but if you're in need of a Bluetooth stereo headset, I'd give this my personal endorsement.

Finally, I lost two portable DVD players in the crash. So I got two of these bad boys:

While I think it's pretty nifty that they have docking stations for iPods, it's a worthless feature for me because I'll never own one. It does however play Divx/Xvid from disc or SD card, which was the selling point for me. It also has video/audio in jacks, making it usable as monitor for a gaming console.

I got a few other things in the settlement, like a couple of power inverters and a new aircard for the laptop, but there's nothing particularly interesting to say or show about them. This was the fun stuff. Yay me!

As an update on the desktop computer: the new power supply is in (along with some new case fans and a new hard drive I snagged while at Newegg) and it's humming a long just fine. When I consider that between two desktops and two laptops currently in the house, that we have over 2 TB of storage it blows my mind. Remember when a 100MB hard drive would run you a couple hundred bucks?

do you believe in rapture, baby?

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:46:59 GMT

s some of you have known from the beginning, I was competing in therealljidol under the pseudonym srs_bidness. For those of you who didn't know, surprise! I was voted out last week during a special contestants-only vote if you hadn't heard. I just wanted to thank those of you who followed along and enjoyed the fun, as well as express my gratitude for that one time a couple of weeks ago when I prodded you for some voting help.

I've posted my final entry over there, if you're interested.

I got in touch with the textbook publisher and sold them a nearly identical shot of the shoe tree taken in the summer time. I guess that makes me a quasi professional photographer now or something. A personal shout-out to the thoughtful hairy_canary who touched-up the photo they originally wanted, even though it was ultimately unnecessary. You're a doll. What're you doing with that goober?

I've been working part-time at the candy factory where welfy gives tours, doing some painting work. It doesn't pay much, but it helps while I sort out getting my own authority and insurance. McMullen and I finally came to an agreement on what my next truck is going to be and I will be submitting the necessary forms and what-not to the FMCSA for getting my own authority and working with OOIDA for procuring the necessary insurance.

Do you think Mr. Miyagi purposefully waited for Daniel-san to become angry about all of the wax-on/wax-off stuff so that he would be reactive and display his skills reflexively or was he just trying to get as much work out of him as he could before having to train him?

shoe tree

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:46:25 GMT

Hi Soopa,

Hope this is of interest. RoadsideAmerica.com received a request from a textbook publisher, who'd like permission to use a print-resolution image of yours (your winter view of the Middlegate shoe tree).

Let me know if I should pass on your email contact to them so they can connect with you. They were fine with a fee of $XXX. for 1/4 pg b/w image use in the textbook (hope that's okay -- I negotiated before they let me know it wasn't our photo they were interested in!).

We usually email a book publisher the high rez image and then send an email invoice.

Thanks,

Doug

Doug Kirby
Publisher, roadsideamerica.com
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/

Office:
PO Box 429
Middletown, NJ 07748-0429

The real kicker is that those photos were like, the second or third set of photos I ever took with my fancy-shmancy digital camera and, novice that I was, I didn't keep high resolution versions of everything like I do now.

*head desk*

updates

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 20:49:19 GMT

oday I began taking apart my desktop computer to prepare it for the new hardware I'm expecting on my doorstep tomorrow. I was getting kind of excited about jumping to a Duo Core MB and processor. The board actually supports quadcore but, with the lack of employment I thought it best to be modest in my upgrade. After pulling the MB from the chassis, I thought I'd pull the processor off and see if I could determine the source of the problem. Typically in a situation like this, you can find char marks where the power surged through the circuitry, and having seen no indicators on the MB, I figured it must be in the processor slot.

The heatsink was being ornery so I gave it a little force and the entire thing popped out with the processor baked to the thermal grease. It's not supposed to do that. Out of curiosity, I opened the latch on the CPU slot and reseated the processor and hooked the board back up to the power supply. I was thinking maybe this could be something as simple as poor contact between the processor and board.

It booted!

After more troubleshooting, I've come to the conclusion that the power supply is going bad. When I hook the final hard drive to the power connector, the machine won't recognize it, and it becomes sluggish and wonky. Each individual drive works fine when plugged-in independently. In fact, it'll power everything except any one of the hard drives; it doesn't matter which, it's just too much for it to power. The little 350w PSU I have in there was probably already taxed to its limits with the high-end graphics adapter, 4 hard disks and an optical drive and, while it's apparently operational, it must've suffered some damage which is effecting its power output.

Of course, big dummy that I am already has the new MB and CPU on the way. The thought of going Duo Core in my desktop is sexy as hell, but I really don't need it and, given my general financial situation at the moment, hard to justify. So I've RMAed the new hardware and ordered a 500w PSU. In the meantime, I can use my machine, I just have to keep one of the drives unhooked until the PSU arrives.

The company I've been talking with about going to work for has told me that they have a company policy against hiring drivers who have been in "preventable rollover" accidents in the past 5 years. That is, drivers using their authority. The folks at McMullen told me that I might have to go the route of getting my own authority, so I asked her about that. She said in the case of having my own authority, the entire application process is foregone and none of the company policies apply, but that she'd have to let me know tomorrow for sure.

The prospect of getting my own authority is both exciting and daunting. Exciting because I'd be truly independent except for the lease arrangement with McMullen. Daunting because, well, I'd be totally independent and responsible. The good thing about McMullen's rent-to-own leases though is that, if for some reason I decide I can't make it or it's too much headache, I can get out of the lease and walk away. While in the lease, I'll still be tethered to them and working for a company they're formally associated with, for ease of accounting. Once the truck is paid for though, I could go to work wherever I wanted, or just "free-lance" with a broker and not be tied to any one company.

The folks at McMullen also had some good news for me, too. My contact there estimates that, after the insurance settlement on the truck, I'll have 9-10k in cash left over. That will be a welcome addition to this financial mess, especially since the process of getting my own authority could take some time, and money. They assured me that they would work with me, to the point of even fronting some of the cash necssary to obtain my authority and work it into the lease.

when it rains

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:54:56 GMT

ast night, shortly after going to bed, welfy and I were awoken by the sound of a warning siren. Checking the television, it was soon discovered that a Tornado Warning was in effect. We trudged down to the basement and I began cleaning off the couch so I could move it to the center of the room and we could curl under a blanket and wait it out. While in the process of moving things about, it occurred to me that I should shut down the computer. While in the process of Windows "saving settings" in preparation for a proper shutdown, the electricity flickered off then back on. The computer went blank. Later I discovered that it wouldn't boot. Upon further troubleshooting, I've ruled out the boot drive and video card - in other words, time for a new motherboard and/or processor.

I called APC, the maker of my surge protector/UPS, since they presumably provide a guarantee for your equipment connected to their products. The lady on the phone was very nice and will have me a new UPS here by the middle of next week, at which time I'm to return my old one for testing. The entire claims process could take up to 6 weeks before I find out if they'll pay for the replacement of my computer parts. It'll be interesting to see if they actually cover it or not.

Then this afternoon, Werner finally called me re: my suspension review. After a month of waiting, they're letting me go. I'm relieved to finally know something, though I wish they hadn't taken this long. So now the search begins for a new company to work for. I'm going to begin with McMullen, the folks I had gotten Sally from. I'm going to see what other companies they work with a lot in addition to what options there are for me just going wherever I want. Hopefully I can find something within a week or so. The wreck not withstanding, a guy with 5 years of OTR experience, especially all for a single company, is sure to be worth something in an industry with a turnover rate as notorious as retail/restaurant.

whizbang

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 04:21:10 GMT

was able to salvage a good deal of my personal belongings from the wreckage of my truck, but there were a lot of electronic devices which didn't survive; most notably my Durabook laptop. It was, as usual, lying out on the bunk. I did manage to find the chassis, sans the optical drive and the lid.

You wanna know the funny thing? It still worked! When I got home, I found an old power adapter, plugged it in and it booted right up. With a little tweaking to get the desktop onto the secondary display, I could access it all using my desktop monitor. Ultimately though, after retrieving my data from it, I decided to convert the hard disk into portable storage via a USB enclosure. I fully intended to buy another Durabook; it suited my needs fine and took quite a beating in the two years I had it. The insurance company which has my home owner's policy informed me that I could make a claim on the personal items which were damaged/lost in the accident, however, there was a $900 deductable. Ouch. On top of that, I had to purchase the items FIRST, then present the receipts for the claim. In a way, this was good - this meant that the claim was going to cover the cost of replacing the items and not some depreciated value of the items lost. However, that meant that I had to pony-up over $2,200 to replace these items so that I could file the claim. The prospect of doing that isn't really appealing when you currently have no income.

Fortunately, I had about $1500 in a credit line with Newegg and $2000 with Dell, which gave me some options. I briefly considered trying Dell's solitary semi-rugged offering but decided against it since Newegg had a Durabook. I decided to sleep on it and place my order the next morning. The next morning, the Durabook had disappeared from Newegg! My next choice were some ASUS notebooks, since I knew that, while not semi-rugged, their design features included magnesium alloy lids with steel hinges. Newegg was discontinuing the A7S-A1 and had knocked several hundred bucks off the price so I got it for a song ($1250), however their usual refund policy would not be available for this product. If I didn't like it, I was going to be stuck with it. I took the leap and bought it.

For the record, I'll be the first to say that this thing is a beast. It's designed to be a desktop replacement, not for maximum portability. However, I figure that my portability largely consists of sitting in the passenger seat or bunk of my truck and that this monstrosity will give me the power and features of a desktop in my truck, contained in a single unit. Anyway, onto the specs.

CPU: Intel 2 Duo Core T7300 2.0 Ghz (FSB 800Mhz, L2 Cache 4MB)
RAM: 2GB DDR2 667
HD: 200GB
Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce 8400 M (128Mb dedicated)
Display: 17.1" WXGA (Wide Screen, Glossy, 1440x900)
Optical: DVD Super Multi (8x DVD-RW w/ LightScribe)
OS: Vista Home Premium
Bell & Whistles: 5-in-1 card reader, Bluetooth 2.0, Wifi a/g/n, Gigabit LAN, Analog/Digital TV Tuner, Infrared port, Firewire port, external SATA port, 4-way speakers, 1.3mp webcam, multimedia remote control, VGA/S-Video/HDMI video-out ports, Express Card slot, 5 USB ports, full-size 88 keyboard with numpad

This computer basically has everything I need built into it. With the old laptop, I had been using a combination of two different card readers, one for xD and one for SD. This card reader handles both. The TV Tuner was a selling point for me as well, I can watch TV on my laptop on the road and I can use it to convert analog video to digital and record cable television straight to my computer. After playing with the tuner a little, I'm not sure it'll be very useful on the road: Frankfort is only 20 miles from Lexington and I couldn't pickup any of the TV stations. Unless I'm in a metropolitan area, it's doubtful I'll be able to get anything with it. The 200GB internal hard drive is a godsend as well. Coupled with my portable HD, I'll have half a terabyte of storage capacity on the road with me. The extra large screen is great, too, giving me lots of room on my desktop. Considering Vista's reputation for memory overhead, the dedicated VRAM keeps all the system RAM available for Windows. This will also give me the computing power necessary to run decent games. Additionally, with the TV Tuner, I could easily hook-up a gaming console to it as well (like my PS2).

Granted I've only been playing around on it for about a week, but so far, I've found Vista to be somewhat tolerable. All of its security nagging is a pain in the ass, but I can always disable that if they become too bothersome. The way in which Vista is intolerable is whenever you have to install/uninstall ANYTHING. It takes forever, however, once installed, the OS seems to be pretty stable and so far, programs have been smooth and responsive. Of course, between the Duo Core processor and the 2GB of system RAM, this is the sort of machine Vista was deisgned for; I doubt it would've run very well on the Durabook with a single core 1.8Ghz CPU and 512MB of RAM. Also, I have a reasonably clean install at this point; we'll see if I still feel the same in about 4 months or so.

Coming soon: the rest of my new gear.

here to tell the tale

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 04:43:10 GMT

s many of you already know, directly or indirectly from welfy's journal, I wrecked and totalled my truck a little over two weeks ago. With the exception of a short trip to Florida for a family wedding, I've been at home for the past two weeks dealing with insurance companies and replacing various personal items that were lost or damaged in the crash. I thought some of you might be interested to know the details of the wreck and I'm sure all of you would be interested in seeing the pictures. Now that I finally have some time on my hands, I thought I'd try to get back in the LJ saddle and ride.

I was driving across Montana, heading for the west coast on Friday, January 4th. I had stopped in Billings around lunch time for fuel and food. The sky was clear, it was warm, and the roads were dry. It was a little breezy, but nothing to be concerned about. A couple of hours later, I was in Livingston, MT. It's a small town which sits at the entrance to the canyon which leads into Bozeman on I-90. Livingston sits north of a natural wind-breaker and the interstate by-passes the town utilizing this rise in the land.

It was a little after 2 in the afternoon and I was climbing this rise in the truck when I noticed emergency vehicles on the side of the road at the crest of it in a curve. I checked my left mirror, changed to the left lane, and began reducing my speed. As I neared the top of the hill, I began to notice the wind picking up. As I came around the curve and crested the hill I saw three semis on their side on the side of the road and a recreational camper that was rolled over as well. Just as I was thinking to myself, "Wow, I wonder how they got all tangled up with each other?" my seat started to rise. Of course it was rising because the entire left side of my truck was rising. The wind at the top of this natural windbreaker was gusting up to 80mph I was told later. In a matter of seconds gravity was on the wrong side of me and I was suspended from my seat by the safety belt. My windshield cracked and I lost all visibility for the rest of my ride as Sally and the trailer she was pulling laid over on her side at 50mph.

With that kind speed and inertia, I skidded on my side for a while. I hate to sound cliche, but time began to slow. What probably was less than 5-10 seconds seemed like an eternity while I was suspended there, hanging onto the useless steering wheel trying to take some of the pressure of the seat belt off my side with my arms. The roof caved suddenly causing the plastic molding above me crash in on my right shoulder and arm, but thankfully not my head. I couldn't figure out why this was happening since, judging from where the gravity was, I was still on my side. The windshield was beginning to tear away as well and a combination of oil and antifreeze was beginning to sprinkle my face.

This is probably the only time in my life when I honestly and truly believed that my own death was a distinct possibility. In this way I wasn't cliche. My life didn't flash before my eyes. I didn't think of my kids. I didn't think of my wife. I was concentrating on two things. The first of these is that I was trying to hold myself as "high" in the vehicle as possible (the door above) while keeping my head away from the caving roof. The second is that I was concentrating on my own... consciousness. I don't mean that I was trying to stay conscious; I was perfectly alert and lucid. I was concentrating on the experience of my own consciousness since I had no idea with each passing second if it was going to be the last one.

The truck finally came to rest. Amazingly, the engine was still running so I reached down (er, up I guess technically) and turned the key to kill the motor. Diesel fuel is not particularly flammable, in fact, you'd be lucky to ignite it with a pocket lighter, so I wasn't immediately concerned about that. What I was worried about, though, was another truck coming through there and being blown over like I was. Gravity was still on my right. The roof of the cab was completely collapsed into the passenger seat and down between the two seats. Propping the weight of my body against the collapsed roof, I was able remove the seat belt. I pulled the latch on the door, turned my body slightly and pushed it up and open with my foot.

Now the fun part.

Using the steering wheel as a grip and the collapsed roof behind me, I pulled myself out of the truck, not unlike crawling out of a manhole. Once out though, I had limited options. The door was swung wide to my right and the highway was in front of me. I had skidded out of the left lane, across the right lane and across then off the shoulder into the grass. I turned to look behind me and... imagine my surprise to see the underframe and wheels of a flipped passenger vehicle beneath me. Just then, the wind gusted and blew me off the truck. On my way backward, I slowed my fall by grabbing the frame of my driver-side mirror. It gave me just enough time to aim my foot for the side of my motor, as the hood of my truck was completely gone. I landed on my ass on top of the flipped vehicle that was laying mostly under my truck.

Now I was worried about the possibility of a fire or explosion. Diesel's one thing, gasoline is something else. I scrambled off of the passenger vehicle as quickly as I could. A few feet away was an SUV with the rear end all smashed-up. I located a couple of bewildered looking policemen on the other side of the wreck. They asked if I was okay, which I was. I turned to look back at the vehicles now that I was a safe distance from them.

I had hit two vehicles after being blown over, flipping one of them. Both of them had decals on the side of them reading "Park County Sherrif." Both of them were newer model Dodge Durango SUVs. My own safety now secure, my next fear was for the potential passengers of the two Durangos. I asked the deputy if anyone had been in the vehicles and he assured me that no one was and that everyone was okay.

I don't fuck-up very often, but when I do, boy do I do it right.

I was informed by one of the deputies on the scene that they had one of those big electronic signs on the interstate, on either side of town advising high profile vehicles to detour through town. I was cited by a state trooper later for failure to observe a traffic device. I have no valid excuse other than my own inattention. I had been driving across Montana since early that morning with clear weather and dry condiitions. All day, the signs were simply filled with Buckle Up and Don't Drink and Drive messages and I had simply started tuning them out. Again, it's not excuse, but that's the reason. The DOT completely closed the interstate around Livingston 30 minutes after my crash. I was able to pack some essential things, then didn't take them from the site of the accident with me when the wrecker had to move up the road, beyond the detour.

That's when I discovered that a total of six trucks blew over in a span of one hour. Two of those trucks were on the outside of the interstate detour just west of town, within a quarter mile of the exit. My company sent an insurance adjuster to pick me up and take me to Bozeman for drug/alcohol testing, standard procedure for my company in all rollover accidents. After that, I got the adjuster to take me to Walmart to grab some clean clothes and then to a motel.

The next day, he and I returned to the site. The wrecker company was still in the process of unloading the trailer and the entire rig was still on its side. The guy from the wrecker company had secured the things I had packed into bags from the night before and had them in his rig. I grabbed them while the adjuster took some photos then we returned to Bozeman. The next morning, Sunday, I rented a car and drove to Billings, where Sally had been towed. There I took some additional photos to the ones I had taken the day of the crash, then salvaged what I could from Sally and said goodbye to her. She was going to be a total loss and it's the last time I 'd ever see her. I then drove straight through to Omaha, Nebraska - the headquarters of both the company I work for and the company that I've been leasing Sally from.

On Monday morning, I met with the Safety Department people at the carrier where they collected the information from me for the fourth or fifth time since Friday then told me that I was on suspension pending investigation and review, another company policy in all rollover accidents. I was told that the process is a minimum of two weeks. I was told it could be as long as two months. Tuesday I drove back home to Kentucky.

So now it's been two weeks. I'm going to give Werner a chance to keep me. I like working for them and am not interested in working for anyone else, but at the same time I can't wait forever obviously. Sally was almost paid for, so a good deal of the insurance settlement on the truck should be a check to me. If it's as much as I think it is, I could cruise another month comofortably, two if I absolutely had to. I doubt I'd wait that long though. If Werner doesn't come through in the next couple of weeks, I'll probably get with McMullen (the people I lease from) and see about getting on with another carrier they work with.

I got a letter in the mail from the Park County attorney. He had filed a motion to dismiss the citation "without prejudice" which I've been told means that, it gives him the chance to file another charge. At this point, I don't know what this means. It could mean simply that the charge has been dropped since it's obvious that the detour was really meaningless since there were two trucks outside the detour that had also blown over. Maybe someone feels the DOT was sluggish about closing the interstate all together? That's my hope. But I doubt it. They're going to need someone at fault, if at all possible, in the insurance claim on the sherrif vehicles. I was at fault, so I'm sure it'll stick.

And that's the story. Now for the fun stuff. Pictures!

This photo gives the best overall view of the truck and trailer laying on its side. You can barely see the wheels of the flipped Durango off to the far right.

Here's the reverse angle where you can see the underside of my truck/trailer and the over-turned SUV.

I was told that I hit one of the rigs that was already rolled over on the shoulder as I skidded off the highway. I'm guessing that's what ripped off the roof of my cab.

When I went to Billings on that following Sunday to retrieve whatever I could salvage, I was able to get some better pictures now that she was sitting upright. As a point of reference, here's some old photos of Sally pre-crash.

And here's what she looks like now.

The angle of the following photo would lead one to assume that no one probably survived.

If anyone had been in the passenger side, or the bunk, they probably wouldn't have made it. Thank goodness I wasn't training anyone at the time because, he or I, would've been in one of those two places.

On the driver side, though, just enough room was left for me to remain largely unharmed.

But not completely unscathed. I know you probably don't want to see my nekkied torso, but in the interest of EXTREME JOURNALING, I thought I'd show you the injuries to my shoulder/arm by the collapsing roof.

Pretty damn amazing if you ask me. I'm one lucky S.O.B.

when everybody loves you, son

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:17:53 GMT

ver since I can remember, I've always been an adventurous eater; I'll try anything once. Prepare it in some manner that is traditionally acceptable to some group of people on this planet and I'll stick it in my mouth.

Last spring, when LARM was on the truck with me, we stopped at The Big Texan and my hopes had been to try rattlesnake for the first time. I was foiled, as it was out of season. Today, Shawn and I chanced through Amarillo on our return trip to the east, so we stopped there for lunch this afternoon. There's nothing especially great about rattlesnake. It's tough and mostly cartilage with very little meat. It's not bad, but not good enough to warrant the effort and cost, in my opinion.

The Big Texan has something else on their menu that I had never tried either. I hadn't intended to try it today, but Shawn got a sampler appetizer that had them included. So not only did I get to have rattlesnake, I also had mountain oysters.

That's right, mountain oysters. Now for the rest of my life, if I'm ever asked if I've had balls in mouth, I guess I can't say no.

californy is the place you oughta be

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 02:13:36 GMT

've just picked-up a load from a Guitar Center distribution center in Brownsburg, Indiana and taking it to Chino, California by Saturday morning. I'm not sure exactly what is on the trailer; the bills only say "musical instruments and accessories." I'm imagining 53' x 8.5' x 13.5' of Gibsons and Fenders, Marshalls and Mesa Boogies. No, lossfound, it's not likely that any of the pallets will "bounce off" as I pass through Oklahoma City tomorrow morning.

Don's no longer with me and I presume he's in his own truck now. I have a new guy named Shawn and he's doing awesome. He's been on the truck less than a week and we're already running like a team. It's rare that I get a "new" guy that's this good this fast. He's had a little bit of previous experience with semis, though, which is why he's coming along so quickly.

oops

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:56:26 GMT

ith only two hours remaining on his shift for the day, Don decided to stop at a truckstop to take a small bathroom break this morning. As he was returning to the highway, a combination of factors - but most of all his own inattention - resulted in his getting tangled-up with another truck. Don was making a left-hand turn and clipped the front fender of a truck that was sitting in the left hand turn lane. Don was facing the sun and in heavy traffic and didn't clearly see what his trailer was doing until it was too late.

The other driver was stopped 15 feet over the stop bar, so the officer very graciously decided to not cite anyone in the accident and left it for the insurance companies to squabble over. It's not an excuse for Don hitting a stopped vehicle in traffic, but it was a contributing factor along with all of the others.

fried chicken and coffee, they're making me mean

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:54:13 GMT

have an incurable and chronic disorder. At first I thought I could live in silence and just put on a happy face every day, but I can no longer do that. I need the support and love of my friends if I'm going to live with this terrible affliction. It's called Popeye's Menu Dyslexia, or PMD. I'm not sure when it started, it feels like I've always lived with it. PMD is typified by the habitual tendancy to transpose the number of pieces of chicken you want for the numbered dinner on a Popeye's Chicken menu. Its symptoms include uncontrollable rage coupled with bouts of depression upon learning that you ordered the wrong thing. The following example is a typical Popeye's Menu board:

#1 2pcs chicken dinner
#2 3pcs chicken dinner
#3 4pcs chicken strip/nugget dinner

In the past I have wanted two pieces of chicken, walk right up to the counter and order a #2. Tonight, I wanted a #2 because I wanted 3 pieces of chicken, then proceeded to tell the lady at the counter I wanted a #3. And I never want a #3 because I'm pretty sure those things are made largely of ass. Oh my shame.

Chain wallets are a rather ingenius idea when you think about it. I don't know how many times a week I've nearly left my wallet in some strange place due to absent mindedness. I've considered getting one, but decided against it; I can't afford to lose that many pairs of pants on a weekly basis.

another dirty secret

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:13:55 GMT

eloped.

stuck in Kansas City

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 18:40:01 GMT

here hasn't been much to report other than, if you live in the United States, there's about a 75% probability I've been within 100 miles of your house in the past two and a half weeks. No kidding, we've been up the entire eastern seaboard from Atlanta to Providence. We've been to Chicago, the Minneapolis/St. Paul, St. Louis, Omaha, Denver, Salt Lake, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. Let's not forget Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Dayton, Knoxville, Nashville, Little Rock, Shreveport, Houston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, and El Paso. In all, 14,500 miles in 16 days.

My student Don is from Michigan as I mentioned previously. I discovered that his mom is/was part of a lesser-known Motown girl group, The Velvelettes. Don likes listening to modern jazz;. lots and lots and lots of modern jazz. Imagine the soundtrack to the community bulletin board channel on your local cable service playing constantly. I wake-up in a cold sweat in the middle night while he's driving, sure that I'm missing some important lecture on planting mums at the county extension office.

With all of this non-stop driving, it's nice to have a break today. We got to Kansas City early this morning and dropped our loaded trailer. We don't get loaded until 1pm tomorrow. Don drove all night, so after he gets some rest I think I'm going to take him over the the drop yard and let him practice backing as much as he wants. This evening, I think I'm going to have to find me some burnt ends for dinner. My usual Kansas City date isn't living here currently, so if any of the rest of ya are interested in getting some dinner - lemme know.

30 seconds and a one way ride

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 03:37:36 GMT

eaving Baltimore tonight, Maryland state troopers decided to give Sally and the trailer we were pulling a D.O.T. inspection. They were thorough as hell. I have three out-of-service failures:

1) two brakes out of adjustment, both on the trailer
2) an air line chafing, on a trailer axle
3) an air service line on the truck cab air bags is leaking

Don was driving so he got the ticket, but I'll be paying the fine ($130). We're sitting here waiting for a service truck to show up and get us moving again. Since two of the three failures were on the trailer, I'm hoping Werner will pick-up the bill for the service call and just bill me for replacing the air line on the truck. I have a feeling though that at some point in the coming weeks I'll be making an irate phone call to get it sorted out.