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9th-Apr-2008 08:12 am - a guy's guide to cooking - tools of the trade
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
A Guy's Guide To Cooking
Part One - Tools Of The Trade


ne of the great myths about good cooking is that you need a lot of special, high-end utensils and cookware to do it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the things you need you probably already have and if you don't, you can acquire them new or used for very little money. Kitchen gadgetry is a lot like exercise equipment, the people selling it make you feel like you can't live without it. Cooking shows like to make you feel like your kitchen is inadequate if you don't have this or that, but that's because the makers of these things are usually behind the advertising revenue for the program. Sure, it'd be nice if we could all have a commercial grade kitchen but just because you don't have one doesn't mean you can't make good food in what you have.

What follows are the basics you need to cook meals on a daily basis. I'll mention some other things along the way that you might want to consider, but they're by no means essential. Let's start with pots, pans, and dishes. You don't need a lot of them, nor do they have to be particularly fancy, but you do need a basic assortment. First we'll considering frying pans.



You'll probably not need more than two and you can probably get by with one. Personally though, I recommend three: a small shallow one for light-duty, a medium one of reasonable depth for every day use and a large, deep one for bigger projects. As you can see in the photo above I have a few more than my personal recommendation, but that's because I fry a LOT. I have my stainless steel, deep/large pan the farthest back. In the foreground are my light-duty frying pans and right behind them is my non-stick, medium sized "every day" frying pan. Finally, you'll notice I have a cast iron skillet. I was raised in the South and not cooking in one is unthinkable to me. Meat just tastes better cooked in a cast iron skillet, whether it's browning ground beef or making fried chicken. You can get a new one for under $50 but the best ones are those that have already had decades of seasoning, which is why you see them going for $75-$100 in antique stores. I got lucky; my mother in-law had a couple of them sitting around from a defunct antique market owned by Welf's late father.

Next, let's look at sauce pans and pots.



You're going to need at least one large pot for boiling pasta or potatoes and making large-batch liquid foods like chili or soups. Beyond that depends on your personal cooking habits and you can add them as necessary. In the photo, you can see the three red sauce pans stacked together. Two years ago I got those at Big Lots as a set for $10. I'll probably still get another couple of years out of them before the handles fall off. If you're just beginning too cook, you'll probably need nothing more than that. Worry about adding nicer and more durable sauce pans later. I have a couple of other non-stick pans to round out my assortment but still use the cheap red ones every day. While we're on the subject, a word about non-stick pots and pans. Never ever ever use metal utensils when cooking in them, always use plastic, wood, or rubber ones so that you don't scratch the teflon coating.

Next up, bowls and dishes.



First of all, get a colander if you don't already have one. That would be the large bowl on the left with the holes in it. And get a big one, you'll thank me later. You can get by with other methods of straining water off food but it won't be as effective and this is a ton easier. You're going to need at least a couple of mixing bowls, one of them of reasonable size and depth. Beyond that depends on how much and what type of mixing you do. Copper or stainless steel is going to be more durable, especially if you're using an electric hand-mixer, than glass/ceramic. Avoid plastic mixing bowls if possible. I don't have it in the essential tools of the trade because you can do the job with a wire whisk, but for the extra $10, dude, get an electric mixer. You'll want at least one glass baking dish (9x12 is "standard") and a basic 6-cup muffin pan. Finally, you'll want a cookie sheet of some sort. As you cook more and more, you'll eventually complement these with a variety of metal and glass dishes of other sizes, but these three basic dishes will get you started.

Finally, there are the various utensils. First of all, you need a cutting board and knives



As you can see, I use a cheap plastic cutting board I probably got for a few bucks at a megastore. I've had my eye on a sexy bamboo cutting board but haven't been able to convince myself I need it bad enough yet, especially since I'm like, you know, unemployed. The knives I got at a yard sale last year. For $20, I got the butcher-block knife holder that had about half the knives missing, a manual juice press, and an office chair. Yard sales, thrift stores, and antique shops are great source for finding basic cookware and utensils. If you're needing some of these things and on a budget, I highly recommend you start there.

I decided not to take the time to sort through every single utensil in my drawer for a photo, but instead took a photo of the whole drawer and then talk about the basic things you need.



Turners/Spatulas: You need at least one turner and if you have any non-stick frying pans, at least one should be non-metal. You should have at least one rubber spatula. In addition to its formal job description as an icing spreader, it's invaluable for getting ALL of the food from a bowl or pan when transferring it.

Spoons: You can get cheap plastic cooking spoons of varying lengths at the mega/dept store of your choice. They're great for general purpose stirring and tasting. You should have at least one large slotted spoon for draining off excess liquids in some foods when dishing them out of pans. Finally, you need at least one ladle for dishing soups/sauces.

Measuring: You need one set of measuring cups and measuring spoons. Small measuring cup sets are for dry ingredients while spoons are for both dry and liquid. Additionally, you need one of the clear graduated measuring cups for liquids. The type of cooking I'll be introducing you to won't require these, but as you grow more confident in your ability to cook you'll begin trying bona fide recipes to expand your repertoire.

Whisks: You should have at least one for manual, quick blending/beating where an electric mixer would be considered overkill.

Openers: You need a can opener for sure. Electric ones are nice but not really necessary. Bottle openers and cork screws depend largely on your eating habits but it's probably a good idea to have them on hand. A jar "gripper" is a good thing to have handy as well.

Miscellaneous: Have a small basting brush in your utensil drawer. A durable pair of scissors/shears is not really essential, just a good idea; you're less likely to cut yourself opening a troublesome bag with it than with a steak knife. Also not essential, but I highly recommend getting a garlic press. A small strainer is a great thing to have around, as is some sort of grater.


....and that's really all you need. Even if you had none of these things, you could probably put it all together for under $100. My guess is, you probably have most if not all of these items already in your kitchen. In the next installment, we'll look at the basic ingredients you will need to prepare and season food when cooking.
7th-Apr-2008 12:09 pm - serving MCs on a platter like a baked alaskan
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
he Baked Alaska experiment was a success. It wasn't perfect, but hey, it was my first time.

It's actually rather simple. Here's what I did. First I made the cake. I just used a box cake recipe, in this case it was a red velvet cake. I also got a quart of ice cream. I chose Black Raspberry Chocolate Chunk.

I baked the cake in a bread pan. After it had cooled, I removed it from the pan and cut the rounded part off the top so I had a flat surface on both sides. After cleaning the bread pan, I lined it with plastic wrap and packed the ice cream into it. I put my cake on top of the ice cream, covered the whole thing and put it in the freezer for about 6-8 hours.

When I was ready to make it, I set the oven to pre-heat to 500 degrees. I made some meringue (I used 5 eggs) while the oven was heating. I took the ice cream/cake combo from the freezer and inverted it onto a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil (cake-side down, ice cream up). I peeled the plastic wrap from the ice cream and coated the entire thing in meringue.


Then I stuck it in the oven for 3 minutes.



Mmmmmmm MM.
31st-Mar-2008 12:41 pm - a guy's guide to cooking
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
eople come up to me all the time and say, "Soopa, how did you land such a fine, fine woman as [info]welfy. I mean, c'mon. You're kinda pudgy around the middle, balding, bad teeth, and damaged goods with a history and three kids to boot? What's your secret?"

My internet brothers and sisters, there is no secret. It was pure luck. I was at the right place at the right time. The more important question to ask is: how did I keep her? I'm certainly not a wealthy man. While I might be decent to roll around in the sack with, that's not a pre-requisite for sticking a ring on girl's finger these days. No friends and neighbors, it's rather simple really. I can cook.

It's true that I have over a decade and a half working in restaurants that gave me some added experience in the culinary arts beyond what momma taught me. But I learned a lot on my own, too; through trial and error and experimentation. You might be a nice guy, or have money, or be hung like donkey, but if you're a single guy and you want to seal the deal with the guy or gal you're wooing, you need to learn to cook. It's also a GREAT date suggestion, to offer to cook a meal for someone at your place.

The great thing is, it's not hard! Recipes look all complicated and intimidating but it doesn't have to be. Sure, there are lots of easy and decent tasting box and frozen dinners on the market, but if you think you're going to impress anybody with that weak shit, get used to spending your weekends with your cats, your favorite porn site and a tube of AstroGlide.

So I thought I'd break it down for you. I'll simplify and de-mystify good cooking in a series of entries that'll give you the basic tools, ingredients, and knowledge to cook great meals without getting bogged down in measuring cups and fancy hardware. Naturally, this information might be of use to some of you ladies who need a primer in cooking as well, but I'm going to aim this largely at the fellas. We'll call this simply:


A Guy's Guide To Cooking


Part 1 of this series will deal with basic tools of the trade. Part 2 will be about the basic ingredients you will need to work your magic in the kitchen. In Part 3, I'll cover basic cooking techniques with a kitchen range. In Part 4 and beyond, I'll give some simple and tasty jumping-off points for creating a basic meal which you can imitate or improvise. Everyone in your hometown will be locking up their sons and daughters because, before you know it, you'll be cooking your way into somebody's pants.
18th-Dec-2007 06:17 pm - when everybody loves you, son
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
ver since I can remember, I've always been an adventurous eater; I'll try anything once. Prepare it in some manner that is traditionally acceptable to some group of people on this planet and I'll stick it in my mouth.

Last spring, when LARM was on the truck with me, we stopped at The Big Texan and my hopes had been to try rattlesnake for the first time. I was foiled, as it was out of season. Today, Shawn and I chanced through Amarillo on our return trip to the east, so we stopped there for lunch this afternoon. There's nothing especially great about rattlesnake. It's tough and mostly cartilage with very little meat. It's not bad, but not good enough to warrant the effort and cost, in my opinion.

The Big Texan has something else on their menu that I had never tried either. I hadn't intended to try it today, but Shawn got a sampler appetizer that had them included. So not only did I get to have rattlesnake, I also had mountain oysters.

That's right, mountain oysters. Now for the rest of my life, if I'm ever asked if I've had balls in mouth, I guess I can't say no.
21st-Aug-2007 02:29 pm - i'm not a little girl and you sure are not my dad
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
om surprised me and opted to get off the truck yesterday and fly home from Laredo, something about a limited window of opportunity for seeing his daughter this weekend and he wanted to be sure he was home for it. So I'm solo for the moment, but there's a good chance I could snag a new student in Dallas this afternoon since it looks like I'll be sitting here until this evening.


s per my daily routine of late, I made the requisite phone calls to my real estate agent and the lending agent. We're trying to schedule a time for the closing this Friday afternoon. It was beginning to look like we were all set to stick a fork in this puppy then I get word today that no one seems to have the deed to the property. Um, what? This is a foreclosure property, being sold by the bank who holds the old mortgage. Why would they put a house on the market they don't even have the title for or not have taken the steps necessary to procure a new one before doing so? Grrrr. At the moment, it's unsure how long this will take with only 72 hours left to go 'til closing, I fear this is going to delay things. The question is how long?


h fine, have some gams; a display of ink from [info]oberonia.



his afternoon for lunch I had my first experience with Whataburger. Good stuff. As far as major regional burger joints go, this only leaves Fatburger on my list to try. Unless there's something I'm forgetting. I'll likely not get loaded until this evening, so I've been max'n and relax'n, listening to some Sonic Youth with Sally. I think I'll fire-up the DVD player and watch Seven Samurai, a long over-due complement to my viewing of The Magnificent Seven several weeks ago.
17th-Aug-2007 11:17 am - out there is a fortune waiting to be had
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
nyone who's been around me for any length of time knows one thing for certain: I am a fan of Dr. Pepper. It's my soda of choice, hands down. Years ago, I had heard that their main plant in Texas still made it with the original recipe, with cane sugar instead of corn syrup. It's been a foodstuff holy grail for me ever since. Today, I finally had an opportunity to try one. It definitely gives it a different flavor and is totally awesome. Hey [info]fujerica, want me to bring you one?


Sally was a pain in the ass yesterday. First, she conspired with the trailer to have the door unlatch itself while I was pulling out of a dock. The door swung wide and clipped the mirror of the truck beside me. Luckily, the truck had break-away mirrors and no damage was done. Then one of her tires went flat and I had to get it replaced. Finally, the fan on the HVAC in the bunk stopped blowing which... blows, frankly... especially in this heat. Then this morning, the blower was mysteriously working again, although not as strong as it should. Crazy bucket of bolts. I hope I can just keep her together until I'm through with the payments, then I'll have plenty of cash to sink into her and get her all fixed up sweet.


All we're waiting on with the house is for the appraisal paper work to be completed. Home inspection? Check. Termite inspection? No treatment recommended. Home owner's insurance policy? Check. Notice given to landlord? Check. As long as the appriasers don't drag their feet, we're still on track to close on the house next Friday. I'll be glad, too. I'm tired of all this headache.
5th-Jul-2007 05:10 pm - random bits
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
ast night I decided to have the air conditioning recharged. It seems to have helped a little. By 10am this morning it was already over 100 degrees, but it's noticably cooler in the truck than it was yesterday. Money well spent.


I'm addicted to these frosty little bitches.




So I have a new student. His name is Jim.



This ends a nearly three year phenomena of not having a trainee with the same name. I had another Jim, way back in September of 2005. He already has experience as an OTR driver, but hasn't done it for about a year. In addition to that, he worked for my company very briefly once and is already familiar with the Qualcomm and electronic logging. He only has to do 70 hours and is considered full co-driver status; we're just knocking the rust off before he gets his own truck. Should be a piece of cake.


I made some new icons! One is just a semi-mean little joke... the other is finally giving Sally her moment in the sun as my new truck icon. Isn't she cute! I almost photoshopped a smile underneath her headlamps.
27th-May-2007 05:51 pm - tell me i'm the chosen one
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta
dropped [info]daveb78437 in Springfield on Friday night, his training all complete. Hopefully he'll be in his own truck by the middle of next week.

I've been enjoying my home time since arriving early Saturday morning, even though I haven't done or accomplished much. Unfortunately, [info]welfy hasn't been feeling very well. She's running a fever and is achy. She doesn't stay-up for very long stretches without feeling light-headed and needing to lie back down. We did manage to watch the season finale of Lost, though. She had refrained from watching it when it aired so that we could watch it together this weekend. We also watchd Amelie, one of her favorite movies ever. I had gotten it from Netflix and have been carrying it around for over a month waiting for a time when she could watch it with me.

Even though Welf's feeling pitiful, it's nice to get to spend the days with her, lazing away the hours. It's allowed me to shift into a mode I am good at, care giver. It's not something I come by naturally. Like, I could never be a nurse or similar all-purpose care-provider... but when it's someone I care about, I get all Florence Nightingale and shit. I've been running errands and making sure she takes medicine and keeping food in her belly. I made home-style pan fried chicken and squash Saturday night with stuffing and gravy and biscuits. Tonight, though, I pushed the envelope by trying my hand at something new. I've had a pasta recpie book for a couple of months but haven't had the time or inclination to do anything with it. So tonight, I made pasta vongole.



I had to improvise with pre-packaged mussels since Frankfort sucks when it comes to finding things like fresh clams. They were fully cooked with their own seasoning and white wine sauce, yet they seemed to go okay with the sauce recipe. I wanna try it again sometime with some fresh clams, though. I feel like it wasn't TOTALLY my concoction because of the pre-pared nature of the mussels, but it was still really tasty.


The year of frugality not-withstanding, I did splurge on a couple of DVD's for myself this weekend. Both of them will likely have very limited distribution life, so I thought I better jump on it while they're still easy to acquire. One is the Japanese import film Linda, Linda and the other is the independent documentary Unknown Passage, about the band Dead Moon.

The year of frugality has been going well otherwise. I'm nearly back to the financial level I was pre-Christmas, which means I should have the amount I need for my 2006 tax burden in-hand very soon. I'm not sure if I will be able to to achieve my goal of having $20K in the bank by the end of the year, but I'm still going to give it my best shot.

Earlier this week, I went to last.fm to look at my charts and discovered that I have been listening to the Smashing Pumpkins... a LOT. Now that's amusing because, while I don't mind listening to the Smashing Pumpkins, I'm hardly a fan. Apparently, a certain someone whose name begins with W and ends with elfy has been corrupting my scrobbling charts by listening to music on my desktop in my absence. Her dekstop computer has been broken for a couple of weeks now. Guessing that it's likely a bad motherboard and or CPU, I got the parts in this week to get her machine up and running again. It's a good thing, too... because all I need is to have Muse or Rasputina at the top of my charts by the time I get home again.

Next week, I'm going to begin posting the few gams photos I've received. Hopefully it'll kick-start some of you into get'n your fanny in gear to send me some. Arguably, when I started it this year I really hadn't gotten the bug yet, I was just trying to do it for the sake of having second annual gams challenge. But the other day, I was in a service plaza of the Pa turnpike. A busload of kids in their late teens and early 20's were all over the place, getting in my way and clogging up the food service lines. And there were bare legs, everywhere. Now I have the bug for real. SHOW US YOUR GAMS!. (mail it to: show.us.your.gams@soopageek.com)
29th-Jun-2006 10:22 am - it's not all glamour and intrigue
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta



hen [info]mxpwr and I got to Everett on Monday afternoon, we were informed by security that it would be at least 12 hours until our load was ready due to a machine failure in the plant. We were basically in his stomping grounds, so I told him that, since we were going to be stuck there until morning, if he wanted to have someone come pick him up and see some friends or whatever, that was cool with me. He began gathering things and after a while, he had all of it out. I looked at it and said, "You look like you're bailing out on me."

Unbeknownst to me, he had been reconsidering his decision to be an OTR truck driver for the past couple of days. There are some people who don't do well in this line of work for various reasons such as poor time management or they just never quite conquer the skills necessary to work efficiently enough to make a living at it. By and large, though, what sends most people packing is the lifestyle. For some, it's disingenuous claims from unethical recruiters. For some it's a denial of themselves; a blind eye turned to their domestic and social nature, by the lure of a decent income coupled with romantic notions about road life and travel. For some, despite going into it as wide-eyed as possible, the realities of the life are so far from the expectation that it's overwhelming. Regardless of the reason, this is why out of everyone who gets a CDL with the intention of being an OTR trucker, only 30% are still doing it one year later.

He conceded that he had come to the decision that maybe he was wrong about this being the life for him. So we said goodbye and he went home. I can't blame him, nor do I harbor any hard feelings. It is a very different way of living from the way most of the straight world lives: your home/social life is fragmented, there is no semblance of routine, and you eat/sleep/bathe when you can, not always when you want to.

The load was magically ready a couple of hours later. Funny how that happens.


ithout a student and prospects for one at the terminal in Portland slim, I worked with dispatch to get me out from under that load, since it was going to southern California and I have plans to be home this weekend. I swapped it with another truck operated by a team that could get it to Fullerton by 11pm the following evening on schedule, another incentive for the load planners to get me out from under it. I met them at a Safeway DC in Auburn, WA where they were due to unload at 5:30am. We swapped the trailers around 2am and I got a little rest before getting into and while sitting in the dock door. The planners had me another load lined up at the drop yard in Portland that was going to Ft. Smith, Arkansas by Friday. So I spent what hours I had left on Tuesday traversing Oregon, making it just to the Idaho border where I took the photo of the sun setting behind the motel.

On Wednesday morning I got up and hauled.ass. I'm still not sure how I did this, but I made it to Cheyenne in 10 hours and 45 minutes. Folks, that's 828 miles by my odometer which is an average of 77 mph. Pretty impressive considering the truck is governed at 75mph. Google maps lists it as a more conservative 789 miles, or an average of 73mph. Either way, that's damn good time in a 75mph truck. Sure, I took advantage of gravity going down the mountains up to as much as 85mph, but I also had to pull the opposing side as slow as 40mph sometimes. I also stopped three times, got caught in a small traffic snarl in Ogden, crossed 3 scales, and was slowed down by numerous construction zones. I definitely set a high mark in miles for an 11 hour driving period, and I still could've driven another 15 minutes and could've gotten away with an additional 15 minutes on top of that, without anyone at the Werner logs department saying boo about it. If I can repeat that phenomena tomorrow, I'll be within 100 miles of Ft. Smith when I shutdown for the day on Thursday. Unfortunately, I'm looking at a daytime crossing of Denver, which is never fun. It'd be nice if I could acquire a student at our terminal there in Denver, but I'm not holding my breath; I'm a day late on the last orientation class completing there.


or one of my three stops during my 800 mile juggernaut, I had a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches at Mollie's Cafe in Snowville, Utah.



It had a lunch counter with stools in addition to booths and tables. The waitress used an adding machine that sat on the counter beside a huge plastic tub of Red Vines, because the cash register had busted and no one has bothered to fix it. There was a game room in the back filled with 15 year old video machines and the place was crammed with Coca-Cola memorabilia ranging from ancient, unopened bottles to old reach-in coolers and completed jigsaw puzzles turned into wall tapestry. Also on the walls were clocks made from cross-sections of trees with pictures of Elvis and Jesus shellac'ed onto them. In a word, it was swank.
12th-Apr-2006 09:45 am - an entry entirely about eating
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta



o communicate back and forth with dispatch, receive information, and log our hours we utilize a satellite device known as a Qualcomm. A driver can send a message in one of two ways: either a free form, typed message or from a list of pre-set macros. The macros are numbered, and one gets in the habit of simply referring to them by their number For instance, upon completion of loading we send a Macro 2, or to shorten it, I would tell my student to "Send a 2".

This morning, Joe wanted to check his student driving hours, to see how many he had completed. The company has a macro established for that as to prevent students from calling the Training Department to ask. The conversation went something like this:

Joe: I wanna check my hours. What do I do? 69?
Me: It's a 62. A 69 is something else completely different. Heh.

I think it went over Joe's head though.


+
=
Breakfast of Champions
16th-Mar-2006 04:28 pm - i'm trying to drink away the part of the day that i can not sleep away
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta


'm in Omaha. Robert's off the truck and on a bus headed for North Carolina. I have completed the hoop-jumping and paperwork signing necessary to be in the owner/operator division of my company. I even have a spiffy new employee number.

The company I'm renting/purchasing the truck through doesn't have the kind I want prepped and ready to go and it could still be several days, up to a week even. It looks as if I will drive another truck temporarily for them until they can get the one I want ready. I've been trying to avoid this, because I HATE truck move-in/move-out and now I'll have to do it twice.


hen I visited with [info]justamy on Monday, I made her take me out for some authentic Kansas City barbecue. In all the times I've visited her, we had never eaten barbecue. It was so good. Then on Tuesday, in observance of the sacred holiday I gorged myself with Never-Ending SteakTM at a Travel Centers of America truck stop in Denver. Yesterday, I had grilled pastrami and swiss with mayo on rye, courtesy of my in-truck grill'n machine. By last night, I had some serious heart burn. I felt like I was breathing fire.

For lunch, I'm making grilled havarti cheese sandwiches on rye. I wish I had some tomato. That would rock so hard.


OVIES

The Return of Spinal Tap
I loved This Is Spinal Tap. Own it in fact. So I thought it'd be fun to see this pseudo-sequel, a concert movie of Spinal Tap. It's the first movie in a long, long time that I turned off before it was over because I was so bored with it. And I watch a lot of bad movies. To give you an idea of just how bored I was consider the movie I watched next.

American Pie Presents: Band Camp
I actually made it all the way through this one. Not this was any great movie, in fact it was awful, yet watchable. This is due partially to the fact that I'm a dude and there is ample T&A throughout. But there is a reason this movie went straight to video; it lacks the charm and talent of its predecessors. I don't know how Eugene Levy got roped into doing this installment of the American Pie franchise. I'm guessing he inked the contract before anyone else and no way to back-out when none of the cast returned. Maybe he just wanted the paycheck. He, and the dude that played the science-fiction geek minor character "The Sherminator" are the only links to the original film. The story, in a nutshell, revolves around junior high school student Matt Stiffler, the younger brother of the older Stiffler, eager to have the same sort of legacy as his brother. After a rather heinous public prank on the highschool band during the graduation ceremony of the senior class, The Sherminator, who is now the school guidance counselor, sentences him to spend the summer at band camp. Eugene Levy's tie to band camp is that he serves as the "conflict counselor" in the absence of his daughter in-law (the band-geek from the other films) who is pregnant by his son Jim. Hilarity, hi-jinks, and nudity ensue. In the end, young Stiffler is redeemed when he learns that good friends, regardless of their nerd-factor, are more important than being cool and a jerk. All together now: awwwwwww. The real surprise for me was Arielle Kebell who is a breath of fresh air and cute as all get out. Not worth your while, really, but if you've seen the other three, you might as well just for the completist in you.

Bubba Ho-tep
Elvis (Bruce Campbell) switched places with an impersonator in the 1970's, then the impersonator died famously in the bathroom at Graceland. The King is now laid-up in an east Texas nursing home waiting to die from a cancerous growth on his penis. Along with an elderly black man who claims he's John F. Kennedy (Ossie Davis), they make an unlikely geriatric super-duo who must fight the forces of evil in the form of a 3000 year old Egyptian mummy sucking the souls from the assholes of the home's patients. Not only does the film have a great premise and is incredibly funny, but it has a lot of heart and soul about a once great man seeking a way to redeem himself in the final moments of his life. This is one movie you should not miss.

27th-Feb-2006 04:30 pm - random update
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta


haven't been in much of a LiveJournal mood lately, which isn't good when you consider I still have three more entries to do about the meat-packing plant that I want to write, not to mention, three more Year In Photos entries (yeah, 'member those?). Instead, I've been spending inordinate amounts of my on-line time playing hearts. While it's true I enjoy playing the game throughout the year, it is usually punctuated by two hardcore benders over the course of it. Once I get this out of my system, I'll be good 'til July/August. I've already played some hearts today, however, and I hope to complete a more substantive entry than this one by the end of the day .


ast Tuesday, I acquired a new student while in Atlanta. His name is Robert and he was born the same year as me. This is the first time I've trained anyone the same age as me, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's first time I've trained anyone who was in their thirties; everyone is always younger or older than me it seems. He's from North Carolina and is in the throes of an 8 month separation from his wife. He's a country-boy, thin with a beard. We are currently in route to Colorado, so when I asked him if he had ever traveled out west before, he confided that, when he went to the Atlanta terminal for his orientation, it was the first time he had been outside North Carolina.

He's fresh out of trucking school with zero experience and yet, he's probably one of the best "new guys" I've ever had. The first time I stuck him behind the wheel he shifted beautifully (even DOWN!) and he was obviously well accomplished with negotiating turns. After just 30 minutes of watching him drive I could tell he was going to be an easy one. On top of all of this, he's quiet. Vewwy vewwy quiet. He doesn't talk to me at all unless I initiate the conversation. It's a beautiful thing. He's like, the perfect student. Unfortunately, he plans to take his paid time-off at the midway mark of his training, so I won't have him for the entire training period.


had intended to begin the process of converting myself over to an owner/operator in the manner which I described a few weeks ago. Due to my afore mentioned affliction, I didn't call the gentleman I needed to make arrangements with on Friday because I was playing hearts all afternoon while Robert drove. I made an attempt to call the fellow this morning and was informed that he would be out of the office all week and that it would be best if I called him next Monday. My mind on this is made-up, however it's still fraught with concern and now being made to wait a week when I'm ready to get moving on it makes me anxious. I don't like anxious.


his past weekend, [info]welfy came to see me in Kentucky for the weekend in anticipation of this being a final weekend that I may be home for a while due to the transition from this account, laden with frequent home time, to the general pool of drivers where home time is not quite so frequent. I suppose I have another weekend after all. I've put-off filing my taxes for the past two weekends, I guess this shall be the one.


had a grilled sandwich of smoked provolone with hard salami for lunch this afternoon and you didn't.

8th-Feb-2006 07:05 pm - the upper midwest's best kept secret
geek, slut, back dat ass up, butthead, clap, xiaoxiao, geeetar-grrrls, smokin', snarl, dailylog, i'm ready for my close up mr demille, heart-hurt, mohawk, dead-gay-son, slint, sanrafael, shake, fubu, wow, teachey, slut-repellent, carl_headbang2, dave-oh my god!, surprise, typo#2, rockin, lj-PWN, maker's, gnr, lj-masturbate, waldo, hannah, i <3 bjs, marie, food, shake_bounce, NYC, music collection, truck, dropdeadlegz, hammertime, fucked up, side-look, cummings, stfu, typo#1, photowhore, beastie1, haha, lj-drama, class, subliminal, wolf, shoetree, peepeing claude, dave-sexy, awww, kneeporn, shadow-wave, lj-iluvyou, you're mohter, beavis&butthead, 2hotf4lj, hip-hop, hiphop2, frazzled, eddie, house_fall, dave-splits, wait for it, mt shasta


inner is served...



...what're you having?
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