I'm jarred awaked by the familiar sound of someone knocking on the door of the truck. I never know what time it is or where I am and tonight is no different. That sound usually begins my day, when the customer is ready to receive my delivery. I always jump out of bed and lurch forward into the cab, never sure how long they may have been pounding on the door trying to rouse me. The fact that it's still dark outside is curious.
There's a woman standing on the steps of the truck. She beats on the window some more as I move into view from the sleeper. She's blonde, probably in her early thirties with an angular, Uma Thurman cut to her features, wearing a blue, button-down blouse and jeans. Getting my bearings, I remember I'm not parked at a customer but in an empty parking lot across from Sharky's Rock'n Bar & Grille. Nearby is a Days Inn with a free wifi, the reason for my locale. I let the window down, not sure what to expect. The only thing I can think to say is "Yes?" and she immediately begins a drunken babble that is completely indecipherable.
I then notice, standing off to the side, a guy in khaki shorts and a white polo shirt standing maybe 30 feet away watching her. He tries to say something to me, but I can't hear him over the engine of the truck. She steps down and away from the truck, still babbling. He doesn't budge.
I let the window back up and retreat into the bunk. It's 1:45am according to my alarm clock and I have to be up in a few hours. She bangs on the truck door, some more, while he watches. I figure I could insist he remove his drunken date from the truck, but this is way more entertaining, so I decide instead to sit in the dark recess of the bunk and watch the show. I figure it's going to be a pretty good one.
You have no idea.
She steps back pedals away from the truck and loses her balance, falling backward into a seated position onto the asphalt. She sits there for a moment, then throws herself completely onto her back very dramatically, lying there. The guy finally moves toward her and kneels down to comfort, check on her, whatever. This infuriates her and she springs back to life, standing. She begins screaming at him and flailing her arms about. She storms away from him, over to the front of the truck. Here she stays for a while. Sometimes she approaches the front of the truck, running her hands over the top edge of the hood. Other times she backs away, raising her arms outstretched from her sides like she's being crucified.
She grabs the bottom of her shirt and lifts it high above her chest, revealing a black bra. She holds it there for a while, the other arm still outstretched. I know she can't see me in the dark, but I guess she knows I'm watching. The dude just stands off to the side watching her. This goes on for maybe 10 minutes then she approaches the side of the truck again, beating upon the doors some more. For the next 45 minutes they are out there, him watching from the outside, me watching from the inside. She spends most of her time on the side-step, occasionally knocking on the side of the truck or tapping the glass. She looks at herself in the long side mirror, talking to herself. She's an attractive woman, at least physically. Her antics surely aren't.
After a while she grows bored and wanders away across the parking lot and he follows her. I grab the laptop and draw the curtains of the sleeper to start composing this entry. I figure if I don't draw the curtains, the glow of the monitor will only bring her back like a moth to light. Earlier, when she had been on the side step, if she placed her face close enough to the window and yelled loud enough, I could hear her voice rather clearly in the cab, even if I couldn't understand a thing she was saying. So while sitting here in the sleeper, I wasn't surprised to hear her voice again.
Only it was much, much clearer this time. And louder. But... that's impossible, I thought to myself. The doors are locked, the windows are all up. I had double checked earlier. I decided that I should probably take a look outside again, since it sounded like the show was getting interesting again. I slowly unzippered the curtain to peek out.
Somehow, she had managed to get her fingers into the driver-side window and PULL IT ALL THE WAY DOWN. Not only that, she had CRAWLED INTO THE TRUCK. Her legs were still sticking out the window and she was lying belly-down across the driver seat. Her head was hanging down toward the floor between the two seats and she was looking with fascination at the Qualcom keyboard glowing green in the darkness. The dude was standing on the stepboard by her legs, looking about as dumbfounded as I was. The cab wreaked of perfume.
He started apologizing profusely. It had now been well over an hour since this whole ordeal began and somehow he had lapsed long enough in baby-sitting his drunk girlfriend for her to crawl into the window of a semi-truck. I turned on the light so I could see. Her pants we sliding off of her. I quickly deduced why as I tried to unlock the door so we could get her out of there. She had snagged them on the lock as she crawled through the window. I pulled the lock pup and got the door open. He caught her legs as she twisted around. But she was still hanging on the lock! She now had her back lying across the seat and she was looking up at me while he held her legs. In the light and up close, she looked a bit more like Rosanna Arquette I decided.
I was trying to explain to him that she was caught on the lock but he wasn't listening or couldn't hear me. He just kept trying to pull her down. I kept explaining we would have to lift her up first to get her unsnagged from the lock, her weight was keeping her hung on it. He with her legs and I with her arms, we managed to lift her high enough to get her unsnagged. He lost grip of her legs though and she tumbled down the side-step to the ground. I held onto her arms as she fell. I managed to keep her from banging her head on anything. She kept looking at me the whole time, wild-eyed. She was talking to me the whole time, too, but I don't remember anything she said, or if it was even intelligible. I was just trying to keep her from hurting herself.
He apologized some more and led her away. The entire time I've been sitting here writing this, the cab rocks back and forth every now and then as she clambers back onto the truck and beats on it some more. It is now nearly quater 'til 4. This has been going on now for TWO HOURS. I suppose I could call the police or something, but this is actually rather entertaining. Maybe I'll go sit up front, roll down the window, and have fun talking to a drunk bar skank.
Edit To Add: After posting this I checked back on our drunken couple. His polo shirt was completely ripped open down the front and he was picking up articles of clothing around the parking lot. She was sitting just outside the driver window on the ground, leaning against a chain link fence. I chatted a bit with deviantbreed and bustednut and checked on them again. They were arguing but you could tell she was becoming exhausted. She stormed away from him one last time and climbed up on the truck step again. He was still talking to her. She half-heartedly tapped on the glass again then stepped back down. The talked another minute or so, then he turned his back toward her and stooped down, throwing his arms backward in the universal sign sign of "jump on". She did and rode him piggy-back to the car and they drove off into the night. It's now quarter past 4. I have some mirrors to straighten-out and a truck to look over. Then I'm going to get a little nap. Gotta be up at 6.
God I love this job.