January 24th, 2002

i'm ready for my close up mr demille

(no subject)

i started therapy again today... which for most people this would probably be some indication of anxiety or distress or depression.... but i don't have any of these things... i actually -like- therapy.... the only reason i'm going though is because of the hoops that my ex-wife wants me to jump through so i can end the bullshit supervised visitation of my kids.... even now, 3 years after our divorce she still has to be in complete control.... and i fear for her, cos im afraid it will eventually destroy our children's relationship with her (probably after their time in therapy ;).... it's amazing the impact one person can have on the lives of people around her, positive or negative... of course she does all of this under the guise of keeping the children's best interest in mind.... and i'm sure in her mind she believes she's doing the right thing.... but i can't see how wedgiing further limitations on the time a child spends with a father who WANTS to be around and spend time with them is in their best interest.... but my fear is that she's going to, in the end, alienate our children and at some point, when they are older and a judge will allow them to make the decision, they will choose to live with me (which i'll more than welcome!), however, even though i'm no longer with my ex, i can't help but worry some for her... i mean she is the mother of my children, we spent a lot of time together dating and married.... it's only natural i feel this way i guess.... i feel for my parents, too... they haven't seen their grandchildren in over two years now... the control extends to even them.... she put her family back together as quickly as she could when we divorced (remaried in 5 months!) and intends to keep me and everyone associted with my life out for as long as she possibly can.... welp.. today begins the proces of reversing that.... i take a little control back for myself...
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