January 22nd, 2004

i'm ready for my close up mr demille

LiveJournal conspiracy

Location: Tacoma, Washington

I have uncovered a devious plot, a conspiracy so bold and so unbelievable that you won't believe it's true.

Apparently, LiveJournal has been around a lot longer than we thought.

A few weeks ago, while incredibly bored I decided to practice my l33t hax0ring skillz by breaking into the Livejournal website. I thought it would be fun to wreak havoc by changing passwords and switching people's icons around. I was sure that hijinks and hilarity would ensue. But I discovered a directory on the Livejournal server simply marked "/clandestine". Intrigued I delved into it and found thousands of directories named for dates of the year, going back as far as the late 1960's. Even more curious I began poking around and noticed that one of these directories was my birthdate - January 29th, 1970.

I went into the folder and there were hundreds, maybe thousands of files, named for dates. I downloaded one and tried to open it, but to know avail. Nothing on my computer would recognize it. I tried a few more but each time, the file wouldn't open.

I continued looking elsewhere around the "/clandestine" directory and quickly found the "/docs". Apparently, LiveJournal began during the early days of internet when the government commissioned the military to establish a network of computers that would have enough redundancy to survive a nucelar attack. Back then, of course, computers took up rooms rather than a few inches on your desk, so why would LiveJournal have been of any use to the common person 30 years ago?

I'm glad you asked. The original purpose of LiveJournal was not to be a place for morose teenagers and sci-fi nutcases. It has a very dark history. LiveJournal was a top secret government program to experiment with computer technology and the human mind. In a controlled study over a five year period, they put a group of pregnant women on a "vitamin" that was actually a psychoactive agent. The mother passed these drugs unwittingly to her unborn child. The drug caused the brain to broadcast thought patterns at a low frequency, which, with the proper receiver could be recorded from within one mile of the subject. Even more impressively, equipment had been developed that could translate these brain waves into text. The drug remained in strong enough levels in the subject's body for as long as twenty years as to provide measureable transmissions.

I immediately downloaded all of this information as well as everything in the file marked by my birthdate. Sure it could be anybody, but what if it wasn't?

I called a math/computer geek friend of mine a few days later when I got home and showed him the files. Apparently they were encrypted, but nothing like he had ever seen. I gave him copies of two files: one marked "info" and the other one was the one with the earliest date, Januray 29th, 1970.

Two weeks later he called me back. He had cracked the "info" file. It was indeed me. It had my name, my social security number, and physical characteristics mentioned in the file. He said he was still working on the other file.

Somewhat dismayed and quite a bit paranoid, now, I couldn't help but be a little excited. I mean how often does one have the chance to delve into all of the memories that happened before we had memories? Or wished we had recorded certain events in our lives but didn't have the forethought to do so in the moment?

This morning he called to tell me he had finished cracking the other file and had emailed it to me. He told me that, despite all of his efforts, he couldn't render the file into any useful, modern file that could be recognized by today's PC. He did however, figure a way to work with the encryption and create an executable program, written from scratch, peculiar to that file and that file only. Coupled with technical specifications gleaned from the documentation files I had provided him with, this program, in conjunction wth an active internet connection could "post" this "MindJournal" entry to LiveJournal, dated for the time it was written. I asked him if he would be willing to help me tackle the rest of these files if I wnated to get them de-crypted. He told me no problem, but since it required writing a unique program for every single file, don't expect it to be done in a timely manner - he'd get to it when he could get to it.

This was pretty mind blowing stuff. I told him that was fair and I'd e-mail him some more files later.

When I got into Tacoma tonight I immediately opened my e-mail and ran the program.

The results, I think, speaks for itself.