It ain't pretty being easy... (soopageek) wrote,
It ain't pretty being easy...
soopageek

Jason explains the internet

ontinuing with soopageek's greatest hits - this is probably the funniest thing I have ever written here or anywhere. In the spring of 2005, I had a student named Jason. I can't possibly recount here the depth of entertainment Jason was, but if you're truly interested in reliving the experience, I have both a tag and an entire memory subcategory devoted to the various entries I wrote during that period of time. On March 7, 2005 I attempted to do an impression of Jason. Basically I pondered, how would Jason explain the internet to someone? And this is what I came-up with.


"Jason Explains the Internet"


I saw this show, on the Discovery Channel once, where they had these typewriters with little TV's that sat on top of 'em.  Do they have the Discovery Channel where you're from? I think they costed about three thousand dollars! And people wrote things on them and stuff.  Yeah, about three thousand... maybe 900 dollars.  And they use the Ty-uh-TV, mm-writers to talk in ciphers.  You ever hear of anything like that? They said something about "cipher space" or something.  And I think I remember ciphers being like secrets, only not letters, but 8 numbers you can't hear.  But we don't have anything like that in Harrisburg.  Do you know James Berman?  He had a TV repair place in Harrisburg, but he was from Aynisscratch, Illinois.  I thought he might've fixed your TV one time because he had a goldfish he bought at the State Fair in Louisville 6, no, maybe 15 years ago.  He went to ITT Tech, or maybe MIT to learn engineering on TV's and he says they have this inner net that catches everything you type to send it overseas and the goverment's worried about pirates.  I didn't even know they still had pirates, did you?  We sure don't have anything like that in Harrisburg.  It sounds sorta scary, 'cos the pirates have viruses that infect the males with worms, which sounds kind of gross, ha ha.  And I think it must only infect the really strong guys who work-out and stuff because he said the worms were in "he-males".  He said the worms can travel the whole world in a couple of hours without dying.  I guess that's 'cos of all the oceans being wet.  That's why the government is building the Reformation Super Highway to cross the oceans safe and not have to worry about pirates and worms.  Someday, like maybe next year, you'll be able to drive from here to China, or Canada or something.  I think that'd be kinda wild, ha ha. To be able to drive to Canada?!?!!
Tags: humor, jason, livejournal, trainees
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