Previous Entry Share Next Entry
the genius of Woody
i'm ready for my close up mr demille
soopageek
Location: Youngstown, OH

On my trip to New Jersey the other night I was listening to Woody Allen The Nightclub Years: 1964-1968. His style of comedy appeals to me, His stand up is very cerebral as you would imagine. I particularly like jokes that finish writing themselves in the listener's head. He also does some of the best ex-wife jokes ever. Here are a few short gems from the album:

"I ran into my ex-wife, who I did not recognize with her wrists closed."

"In summing up. I wish I had some sort of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?"

"I must pause for one fast second and say a fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked this girl to go to bed with me and she said, 'No.' "

"She was coming home late at night and she was violated. That's how they put it in the New York paper: she was "violated". And they asked me to comment on it and I said knowing my ex-wife, it probably was not a moving violation."

"I was thrown out of NYU my freshmen year for cheating on my metaphysics final. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

"Sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five it's fantastic"

"My wife was an immature woman. Well, see if this is immature to you. I would be at home taking a bath and she would walk in, whenever she liked, and sink my boats."

  • 1
Too bad this is from 64-68. It it was more recently he could amuse all with jokes about fucking his daughter. Pity.

"My wife was an immature woman. Well, see if this is immature to you. I would be at home taking a bath and she would walk in, whenever she liked, and sink my boats."

Genius. I've never seen his stand-up. I guess I'm missing out!

That was the one that cracked me up and got my attention. I must be missing out as well.

that was actually the first joke on the record that really floored me... it had been moving kind of slow and i was beginning to wonder if it was going to be worth listening to then he dropped that doozie...

and walt disney was a coke head, roman polanski had sex with a 13 year old girl, percy bysshe selley was shtooping teenage mary wollstonecraft when she wrote Frankestein, jerry lee lewis married his 15 year old third cousin, samuel taylor coleridge wrote Kubali Kahn while hallucinating on opiates... i don't condone any of these behaviors but it doesn't prevent me from admiring their work and recognizing their achievement...

for the record, Sooni is not woody's daughter, biologically or legally, she is the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and Andre Previn... i will agree that it is certainly in bad taste to begin a love affair with the daughter of your current lover (mia and woody were never married, so sooni isn't not even woody's step-daughter...) but, unless he began his romantic interest for her while she was a minor (which doesn't appear to be the case, but who knows?), nothing criminal occured...


Touche. Walt Disney was a coke head? No shit. I had no idea of that one. That explains a lot.

  • 1
?

Log in

No account? Create an account