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blowing off more of the day than i originally intended....
i'm ready for my close up mr demille
Location: Salina, KS

I decided that today I wanted to find a new friend, so I thought I'd go trolling through the list of names of people reading ken_tuck_y and see if I couldn't find someone new from my neck of the woods with some similiar interests and kept an interesting journal. About mid way through, it was becoming apparent to me that I should keep notes along the way, not because I need to reference them, but because it is comedy gold. With a few exceptions, I won't list out names of these people, since the big purpose of this entry is to ridicule. ;-) I may be a bastard sometimes, but I'm not cruel. Oh yeah, and if any of these remarks resemble your journal, you know I love you. It's all in good fun.

1) Everytime I find someone with more than a couple of cursory things in common with me listed in their intersts, they're a 15 year old girl who writes about how much they love their boyfriend in their journal. How am I supposed to scam some action off an impressionable young teenager when she is delusionally in love with some pimply faced jerk-off?

2) liquidfire425 and livestorm: Hey lucidaj; damn girl, how many journals you got? ;-)

3) Real men don't use mood icons

4) if 410's journal doesn't make you laugh, then you should have someone check you for a pulse. The best thing is, you don't even have to read it, just make sure your speakers are on. I love the mouse pointer. "oooh I know it's good when you start speaking Spanish!"

5) When more than half of your user icons are a) Buffy related, b) Harry Potter related, or c) pictures of yourself you need only the sort of attention and assistance that can be afforded by professional care

6) People, stop admitting your are dorks in your bios. It's not cute or endearing and we can see through your ruse. These overt attempts to project geek-chic are pathetic and quite frankly, no one likes a poseur. A true dork is oblivious to the fact that s/he is one.

7) For the love of God can there be one polyamory reader who is not a pagan/witch?

8) Yes, yes. I get it. But you're not the first person (and certainly not the last) to put "What the fuck/hell/heck is Jabber?" on their info page.

9) Girls who "cut" are unattractive and unsympathetic. Stop it.

10) The occasional quiz/meme/survey is fine (see my previous post) but when it's all you do, maybe it's time you found a nice hobby.

11) I've never understood the point of a "friends only" blog. I mean if you just want to communicate with friends there are telephones, e-mail, IM's, chatrooms. Occasionaly there my be posts that you don't want public or that you need to filter, but when you are to the point that it is "friends only", what's the point? Ok, so maybe I can understand the point a little. It's simpler to recount the trivial things of your life to your friiends all in one place rather than telling them all individually. But then why put the message on your journal that says "This journal is friends only, ask me and I might add you."? Someone who knows you is just going to ask you and someone who doesn't know you can't read your journal to know if they give a fuck if they want to read it or not.

12) When you have 547 people and communities on your friends list but only 24 on your friends-of list, you're nothing but a big ol' whore. It's a cry for help Really.

13) Hint: nobody will even look at your journal if you list the Dave Matthews Band in your interests list, and nothing else.

14) When it takes me three minutes to scroll past all of the shit of blinking icons, buttons, claims/ratings communities you belong to, every quiz you ever took, and your favorite quotes in your bio to get to your interests, I've already lost interest. While we're at it, a character height of anything less than 8 is just annoying. Although, drewclid has his own claims community where you can claim one of his body parts. He gets mad props and I added him immediately.

15) 0n1y m040n5 typ3 l1k3 th15

16) Emo was so 1999.

17) If you are over the age 24 and your hair is blue/pink/green and you do not earn your living trying to scare the hell out of some kids parents with your music, it's not cool, it's just sad.

18) Why is it that guys feel the need to tell you right off the bat that they are "single" in their bio? Hrrrrm.

19) You are not now, nor will you ever be a "goddess" or a "princess".

20) Trance/jungle/techno/dance. Like there's a difference.

21) The nanosecond the phrases "I don't care..." , "...you think", or "..my life.." topped off with "Deal with it!" crosses my eyes while reading your bio, I've already deduced you are a high strung drama queen/king who does care what I think so I won't even bother.

22) The phrases "insecure", "messed up", "don't understand myself", "complex", or "issues" in your bio are pretty good indicators that your journal is a) largely unintelligible and b) fucking depressing reading - pass.

23) Straight edge was so 1981.

24) Gen Xer's: I have an affinity for the 80's too, but there were other decades. Our salad days are gone, let it go.

25) You're from Kentucky and know a foregin language. Yay.

26) White guys un-ironically making gang signs with their fingers. See 17.

27) Pop punk was so... well it never was.

28) Even I thought Johnny Depp was hot as fuck in Pirates of the Caribbean but are a jazillion icons really necessary?

29) An icon of the Confederate (Rebel) Flag with the words "If this flag offends you it's made my day" demonstrates a misguided concept of what it truly means to be a rebel. Coupled with icons of Stone Cold Steve Austin and it becomes down-right creepy.

30) Militant feminism was so 1979. Cripes, these broads today.

31) Your parents did not name you Reychel, Kymberli, or Mychel. If they did, why haven't you done a Menedez Brothers on them yet?

32) You interests in Vin Diesel, Brad Pitt, and Colin Farrel means one thing - it is time for Atkins.

33) Queer is so 2003.

So who did I end up adding? The following get the tentative soopageek trial period to be interesting enough that I don't skim them 90% of the time for a few weeks: belle_the_tiger. brooke3rdstreet, bzuercher, drewclid, marcusshogun, revsphynx, spikeydrew, and yshaloo.

As if I didn't have enough trouble keeping up with the current journals I do read.

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Spikeydrew: Awesome girl.. I dated her ex, and then they got back together.. weird weird story..
Marcusshogun: Really good guy, just wish he were happier (although it's explainable)

19) You are not now, nor will you ever be a "goddess" or a "princess".

How dare you attempt to crush my dreams.

obviously that wasn't directed at you... for you are both

YES! After all this time of telling people that, finally some pay off.

of course you know that the ulterior motive of my post was the eek out the people whose wry sense of humor was not readily apparent during my little friend-hunt...

you fell right into my trap!

i added ya back ;-)

the point of friends only entries is not at all what you think it is. for me, anyway. i just don't want family or co-workers stumbling on it, and i like knowing exactly who's reading this thing. simple.

i mean when people make their entire journal "friends only"

yeah, my entire journal is "friends only".

shows how much i know... i'm on a friends only journal and don't even know it... ;)

it was all in jest mostly anyway...

to your credit, though, i went and checked, nowhere do you have the phrases "Add me and I might add you back" or "Ask me and I might add you." I think that is the part that drives me up the wall the most. ;-)

I didn't wanna go making an big deal in the community, so I posted this in your journal instead, as she is part of the community. Anyway, she is from Frankfor and Oh how I hate to say it but, she was one a friend of my man's. Tragic, yes it is. BUT, the infamous journal.. was it rebelzoso??

Little side note on her. Not long ago, Phil signed into AIM and she was online. She asked for his help with something and he simply replied "No." She then replied "Fuck you .. NIGGER!" Yeah, she has issues.

yeah... that's it... i remember the Led Zeppelin "Zoso" icon mixed in with the confederate flag and wrestling icons

she seems to be a very vile person just judging from her icons

She is. She's younger than me, not by much. (And I thought I was a little kid, according to everyone else.. hmmph)
But, she is a sad sad sight. She is obsessive with IRC from what I am told. Every screen name she has has Zoso in it somewhere.

yet again, your post is filled with so much wisdom. I haven't laughed so hard and yet agreed so much in ages :)

and yeah.. I showed 410's journal to afew people. dear god..

the icon thing.. so much a cry for help. :)

i hope 410's livejournal is an attempt at being funny and its author recognizes how absurd his cration has grown to be and its not done earnestly....

if it is done in earnest, then yeah, that mouse pointer is a cry for help for certain...

I couldn't handle it, so I didn't read any of the entries... I think I would've been forced to gouge my ears and eyes out if I would've stayed another second longer..

Since I was talking to you about foreign languages just a day or two before you posted this, I have to wonder if #25 is about me, even though you said this entry was about the kentucky group (which I'm not in). What gives, bitch? ;)

I just started classes last week, one of which happens to be a Spanish class, so it was on my mind. I was by no means trying to impress you, I just figured it was a topic that might work for us since you seem like the type of person who might be interested in such things. And indeed you were! :)

I hate friends's only livejournals, too, especially when they act like people need to prove themselves to the person before they're accepted. I mean, I have better things to do than to join the fuckwadx cult, ya know?

naw it had nothing to do with you... and i don't care that people know a foreign language... there are lots of people who fluidly speak second languages because they are second generation immigrants or because it interested them or they grew up in a bilingual community...

you don't have it on your user info page though... that's what i was getting at... it seems, dare i say, a little pretentious?

not that i'm ever pretentious...

it was just a joke :)

9) Girls who "cut" are unattractive and unsympathetic. Stop it.

What about ex-cutters?

Haha, my entire journal is friends-only. Does that mean you hate me? :^P

The Queer being so 2003 cracked me up.

actually cutting is a very serious thing and i wasn't trying to make complete light of it... what i was referring to were girls who post pictures of it, and almost romanticize it....

i don't hate you. it's quite the opposite :)

3.) You need to have a heart-to-heart with some of the "men" on my f-list. They've got more moods than I do!

4.) What's with that guy's latest entry? (June 6th) You'd think he was accepting a friggin' Oscar. And I did laugh! Thanks!

5.) Also, if they list "Hogwarts" as one of the schools in their profiles. It really just makes me want to crotchkick someone.

10.) Get a job with the Nielson census people.

11.) See, I have one reason and one reason only for going Friends Only--revenge. On one person. We were good friends and now we're bitter enemies and it FREAKIN' KILLS HER that she's now locked out of my blog. She's convinced I talk smack about her on a thrice daily basis (I think I mentioned her, oh, once? And not by name?), so I get a lot of personal satisfaction from that.

12.) *quick perusal of friends list* Nope, I've got a good ratio. Yay!


18.) Especially when they fuck up and write a post about their wife and offspring. Double hrrrm.

19.) *ear droop*

24.) I won't! I won't I won't! YOU LEAVE BILLY IDOL ALONE!

28.) Yes.

30.) They're so cute, ain't they?

32.) Well, what if my interest is Mike Patton? Time for bulimia?

This was fun. :)

Unfortunately, 410's journal is not nearly as amusing as it used to be. Back when I first discovered it, the mouse-pointer turned into a little image of the dude's face and you were force-fed an endless loop of smoove R&B jams a la R. Kelly. It's still an eye sore, (I personally love the photo of himself on the left where he's glowing like an angel) but it's not nearly the multimedia cacophony it used to be.

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