It ain't pretty being easy... (soopageek) wrote,
It ain't pretty being easy...
soopageek

location: indianapolis

stuck at the terminal for pm service which means I'llprobably be stuck here til at least Saturday (the 10th)… bleargh… re-read that old journal entry thingei I've kept since 1997… about everything and nothing…. the whole issue of religion and my faith bothers me… more it bothers my parents… but it bothers me some because my beliefs seemt be based more on what I don't believe than what I do believe… I do believe in god… I do be believe in a sense of moral obligatin as a human being, but I don't really believe all the whole concept of sin and the need for salvation…. it is hard for me to fathom a creator who would be so sadistic as to require all of his children to believe exactly the same way when he gave us such a beautful and pwoerful gift, the ability to think, reason, and choose… I can't imagine that god would blanketly condemn billions upon billions of souls to eternal danation simply because they adopted the faith of their parents… buddhists, hindus, muslims, jews….. is there a nee for redemption among the really twisted people in our world… most likely… if a man kills someone… yes that is horrible and he should seek redemption… have remorse, understand that he violated a supreme crime against humanity… I dunno… I guess I basically see the ten commandments as a simple guideline to human behavior, and basically jesus summed all of them up into a single phrase: the golden rule…. what consenting adults choose to do with their lives and their bodies is there business so long as it does not infringe upon the lives and bodies of another person, then that's ok… all forms of consensual sex, mind altering cheimcals, foul language…. these are all perfectly fine in my opinion… where things get sticky is the deceit that can be involved in some thing… for instance… adultery may be consensual sex, but it's the deceit that makes it the problem, not that act itself….
speaking of consensual sex… I've been debating on whether or not to go to the PWP again this year…. on the one hand… it was kinda fun… but on the other hand… I didn't really connect with anyone last year… just like most all other social situations, I always feel like I'm the odd one…. well I know I'm the odd one, I just don't like feeling like it J… maybe I'll leave it up to chance… if I'm home that weekend, I'll go, but if I get a chance t run west, I'm not turning it down…. I should make it home this weekend, and I'm definitely gonna make it home next wekeend for the ourt date and the big Matrix shindig, so after that, I'mg onna ask to go west… if I do, good, if not, then I'll got o PWP…. but I think I'm supposed to RSVP… ? minor detail…. I'm sure no one will mind if I don't rsvp… I should probably make check the mailing list tough and make sure it's still gonna be in the same place…..
on being the odd one: not that I don't appreciate the good friends I have… ilove them all dearly: robin, dwayne, stephanie, carlla, amybeth, kevin…. but I wish I had that one person who I just clicked with…. the person who got me I got them…. and of course if that person would a woman that'd be great cos then I'd have found the mythical soulmate… heh… but seriosuly, just someone…. I've given some thought to re-approaching the personals thingies… but not so much to find potential cuddle buddies, but to find a good friend… someone who shares my interests, sense of humour, passions… especially music…. what would be great would be someone who I shared a large core, but we had differences too that we could expose each other too…. that was the problem with both susan and robin (and most anybody for that matter)… finding someone who shares that passion like I do is tough…. in fact… I've never found that person…. it sucks…. I've had lots of good friends…. I've had different best friends at different times of my lives…. but I've never really had that one really special friend that just gets me on every level…. probably never will…. I need my silent bob ;-)
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