It ain't pretty being easy... (soopageek) wrote,
It ain't pretty being easy...
soopageek

pomp and circumstance

I went to my oldest spawn's 5th grade graduation ceremony this morning. He got honors for having a GPA above 3.5 and for being on the honor roll all year. I'm so proud of him.

That said, the graduation ceremonies lasted for two and a half hours. Talk about excruciatingly long. It was ridiculous. They have all of these bullshit honors and awards so that all the kids get some recognition and don't feel left out. Like "if they made the Honor Roll at least once in the year" and "citizenship awards" which had a really vague description of what it was for. Of course, there was also the dubious distinctions of being "the most improved student".

It became apparent, as each teacher presented their awards for the kids in each of the five classes that, they were just making this shit up for the kids who didn't win anything. Each teacher had different awards outside of "perfect attendance" and the subject awards (best reading, best spelling, etc). The teachers could just make up wahtever categories they wanted and pick people who were the winners.

But they weren't content to simply recognize all of these honors by listing them in a program or having them stand and receive applause. Every single bit of honor and recogition resulted in the calling of names and a parade of kids across the stage to receive a zillion different certificates for each of these honors. I understand the touchy/feely approach to making all the kids feel special about ther scholastic achievements, but did this really warrant a 2.5 hour ceremony?

As if this wasn't bad enough, the assistant principal was retiring this year and gave a 15 minutes speech to the assembly followed by a "gosh-aren'they-cute" set of twin girls singing a duet dedicated to their vice principal who, apparently, will "always be in their hearts" (yeah right).

The sad thing is, there were parents there who seemed to actually be enjoying this whole thing. Which, in these settings is when I always feel so out of place; a room full of brain damaged kids and the you-know-exactly-where-they-got-it-from mom and dads. It's these situations when I understand the complete depth of my cynicism.

And I have two more to graduate from this elementary school!!!! If I make it to the other two as well I will waste 7.5 hours of my life in elementary school graduations. Does this seem right?

I've seen the future. I think Dad has to work.


So, I'm wasting some time in the university library. Storms knocked out the phones last night, so I thought it might be prudent to take advantage of the library resources to read livejournal and check e-mail before going home.

I've had a hard time composing this entry because there is a very hot blonde co-ed sitting down the table from me and I keep losing my concentration.

Two years is a very long time.
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