It ain't pretty being easy... (soopageek) wrote,
It ain't pretty being easy...
soopageek

dreams

it's really weird that I've been remembering my dreams as of late since I so rarely ever remember them… last night I dreamt that I walked into some men's restroom… standing in front of the mirror looking at his own reflection was billy coulter and using one of the urinals was steven royalty… now, I don't remember the context of where this restroom was, but it was a public one, and one I've never been in before… as if those two childhod friends weren't enough… at some point I was outdoors, it was dark, and I ran into brian hoppes… all I remember from the dream is that he was studying to be a lawyer…. in retrospect, as I'm writing this, I think the dream is beginning to make sense now…. billy and steven represent my "willisburg" friends… the more rural ones that I grew up wth initially. but kind of grew apart from as we went to high school due to differing educational paths and I became good friends with brian who was ni a lot of my classes…. I've been obsessing a lot about the negative connotation that comes with my current career…. to the point that I've played out my next high school reunion in my head…. steven and billy would have no problem with my career (nor would brian really) but brian in the dream represents someone pursuing some loftier career, even though he, like I, in reality probably has some unglamorous job somewhere… I really should look him up sometime….

oh what else… last weekend I was home and did not go to PWP… instead I went to mason's usual memorial weekend birthday she-bang… my sister got married rather abruptly on her birthday to Grant… I hope this is the "one" for her…. in a conversation with mom once, many years ago when cindy was still in high school… I made the observation that cindy would go through a couple of marriages before settling down…. well now she's married for spite (to spite my parents and get the hell out)…. she's married for money (toby)… so hopefully now she's marrying for love…. and in romantic shenanigans, I'm debating on whether or not to ask kristy out…. I've kinda decided to do so, but that general shyness always keeps me second-guessing the prudence of it…. but, I guess if I'm going to whine about self-confidence I should do something about it, eh? this past weekend I actually attempted to locate her at work to give her a t-shirt I bought for her in NYC and use it as a segue into asking for a date, but alas, she wasn't there…. and I remember feeling more relieved than disappointed…. I wonder if I can muster that much courage a second time…?

finally… I have this really wild hair to start a band again…. I mean I actually have a vision: the style/sound of the band, the method of putting the band together, and the way to go about building an audience and kicking lexington's ass… but there's no way I can achieve it working this job…. nor do I have the money to invest in a guitar and an amp and any other equipment that might be necessary…. so it is sadly a pipe dream… not that I had any abitiotns of becoming a big rock star… it was more of a punk thing for the kids… basically just to maybe try and get a scene started in lexington again…. maybe I oughta call josh and see if he and sruel are still doing the psycho bitch magnet thing or if he's "between" bands… I could be the visionary… lexington's malcolm mclaren… ;-) ah, a boy can dream…
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